How to Build a Better Life Through Daily Actions

How to Build a Better Life through Daily Actions

Hello, welcome to In The Rising Podcast. My name is Bettina Brown and I am your host. This is the show where we talk about transforming your life to live full, complete lives without. The constant regret and guilt that can plague so many of us. I always start off by saying that I am not a licensed counselor, psychologist, or psychiatrist, but I am a student of life and healthcare professional who loves to look into what makes us tick and what makes us feel connected.

So welcome today. Today's episode 23, and what we are really gonna delve into today is how can you quickly and fully transform yourself to live that life without regret and guilt, and how can you do that today? You know, I've had. A lot of discussions about this with, with various people, and sometimes they were clients of mine.

You know, when you work on someone and you spend 12, 15, 18 hours over the course of, um, several months with someone, you start to talk about things other than the weather, you know? And I have learned so much from everyone that has blessed me with the opportunity just to listen to their stories. And a lot of people tell me that they would wanna change or wish they would have, but it seemed such a, a long road, like a long road before I'm there.

It's a, it's a lot of work before I get there, but, And all the quotes in the world, you know, it's not the destination, it's the journey. It doesn't help you necessarily in that moment unless you really can just believe that with your soul. But what can you do today to make a difference? For example, there are many of us that have career goals.

We want to do this, we want to do that. But before you do that, you've, you've probably heard this saying, you gotta pay your dues. Well, what about if you're just starting on your due payment? How do you still stay energized and focused and eager to follow your dream? Or it could be relationship goals that yes, we can't pick, you know, a partner out of thin air, but we can really work on ourselves so that we behave.

With gratitude and appreciation and that we can control and regulate our own emotions and not lose ourself in a situation. That way, whenever we do have that opportunity to be in a relationship, that we can give that best person of our, that best version of ourselves to that person. So there's always something you can do right now.

There's always something. It's just a matter of doing it. And I'm gonna talk about a few things that I've researched on and some of them I've actually tried that really made a difference for me. So I don't feel like something's gonna take forever and ever. And the number one thing that I have read books on, cuz I'm nerdy and read articles on and just worked on myself, was practicing being my future self.

So yes. I've also talked, if you've listened to my podcast, don't live in the past. Don't live in the future. Live right now. The present is where you have your control and your power, and that's true. However, there are still techniques that you can do that all of us can do to help give our present a little more purpose or a little more Go juice, a little more excitement.

And that is by living in your future self, and that can include everything. If you always want to have a convertible Audi, then you can imagine yourself driving down that road to your house with the top down and the wind in your hair. Or if you have a cap on, no, but you just feel the breeze. You can just feel the car you can.

Feel the excitement of saying, you know what? This was a dream of mine. I accomplished it. It's not necessarily the car itself, but that this was a goal. And feel that I know people that will actually go to a car dealership and get in the car that they have their eyes and their heart and their soul set on just to feel it.

Sometimes they test drive it and. I've actually heard this from Sunny Lynn Doozy. She is a YouTube, influencer, but you know, she's a multimillionaire and built her business on teaching people how to use YouTube, and she's in her early or mid thirties by now. So, She described this often. She said, you know, there was a time she had $12,000 a year, lived in a really small studio apartment, and she just felt like I have to do well and I'm going to do well.

And one of the things is I want an apartment here. She lives in Vancouver, so there's, I guess, certain areas that those apartments oversee a great view, least. It looks really great on YouTube. And she also talked about her ability to just get to the car dealership and drive the car that she really wanted.

And she's like, I just, I took it all in and I, and there's a lot to say to that. So sometimes you should go house shopping. House hunting, doesn't matter if you have the money now, walk in that house as though you own it or walk in that house that you would love to have. And you know that in time you will have the credit, the money, the job.

To get to that point, feel that. And so when you are at that point that you can still be humble and grateful and thankful, but that you are not surprised. So practice being your future self. And it will help you align with what's important. Now, is it more important to sit down and rest, or is it maybe a little bit more important to get a presentation together?

Is it more important to, watch another show? This one's, this one's definitely for me. Sometimes sit down and when I'm on a binge, I'm on a binge. Is it more important to do that or is it more important to stick to your priority at this time? You know what? I need to finish reading that book. I need to do a little more research.

I need to watch another YouTube on how to get something together. Anything for your goals, that what you're doing now impacts your future. And I, I really do love that practice being your super, your, your future self, your super future self. And the second one is design your life around happiness. So happiness is not just a feeling, although it can be.

You know, there are some, some questions like, can you always be happy? No. Can you always be in your joy? Depends. Some, some philosophers have said, you can always have your joy. You may or may not be happy, but your joy is internal. Your happiness is depending on your circumstances. And sometimes there are circumstances I'm not very happy about, but does that mean that my life is over?

Or is it just really a circumstance I'm not happy about? But designing your life to be in a place where you know, things feel right. Some people, Have talked to me about this and they're like, you know, Bettina, I don't do all that whole law of attraction stuff, you know, I, I don't, I don't, you know, that we are supposed to just feel happy and feel in our vortex and all this other stuff, and that, that has some valid points.

I think, you know, it's not just about being happy, but I think a lot of us feel that life is about suffering, that life is always about. Getting through something and overcoming something and, and yes, that's true, but if we're not willing to look at life in the way of, you know, designing it with happiness, why do so many of us design it around suffering?

Oh, you know, I knew it wouldn't work out. You know, I never win the lottery. You know, this never works out for me. You know, I'll never get the house. Like, why are we willing and okaying. Unhappiness and unsuccess and unfulfillment, but we're not gonna design our life around happiness. And some of that happiness can be from giving more of ourselves, more of our time.

It can also be giving financially. If that makes you happy, then it makes you happy, and that will change your whole attitude. And so the last one or second and last one I wanna talk about is don't de beat a dead horse. That can be two things. One, getting all upset about our past and our past mistakes.

And if I had only, but that's, that's, that's gone. Or, you know what? I, I am trying to get myself together and. But I'm gonna keep doing the same techniques. If, if you were doing the same techniques and you're not getting it done, it's that same definition of insanity, you're, you're not getting any progress.

I have to say that this one hit a little close to home because I can totally do this. I will want something to work out so well that I will do something over and over and over again. A small point is there's this one section in my front yard that I desperately want flowers to grow, and I have put so much money and energy and miracle grow.

You know, all sorts of stuff in there. Nothing grows at that spot. In fact, it grew three inches and those same three inches. This plant is still alive. It does not grow. It has been there for a good five years. And it doesn't matter what I pour on it, what extra stuff I put in the soil, it's just not fertile or it's too hot, I don't know.

But it's just not conducive to what I want. So for years I just kept on and on and on and putting and putting, you know, now I've learned I will accept that that plant is only three inches of, of leaves to give and that's it. I'll take it, but I'm not gonna still do the insane stuff. And it is important to let some of the things in the past go.

You can take the lesson with you, but don't take the feeling of failure, the feeling of sadness, the feeling of irritation with others or yourself that will not produce anything positive. And the this one is one I, I definitely don't listen to it. And maybe this resonates with you to take a vacation or to take a break from your screen, from your computer, from your job.

As I was job hunting recently, I was looking at things like how to negotiate your salary, how to evaluate whether or not you received a fair salary and. This point came up over and over again because I'm taking out some of my paid time off that I've not used. And it said one thing that people in the US leave on the table more than anything is time off that they don't use.

So we are so big on, I want more money per hour, but we're not taking these free days. So in my case, I have, I don't know, six days. Six days that I've earned. That I've worked for, but I didn't take, so I was just giving this company six days and you multiply that per hour of here. You know what, I don't really want that money, so how can I then want more salary when at the same time, In my body.

I'm saying, you know what, but I'm not gonna take it. I want you to give me more. So it feels good, but I, I don't deserve that time. I don't need that time cuz I just have to work, work, work, work. Well then you're actually selling yourself short. And when I read that article, I knew that was really close to home for me because that's something I would do.

Like, I know I have to be there and I will never forget a client. That just brought that up by herself one time and she said, you know, I always gave and gave, and I thought for sure when I retire that the army would fall apart, but they didn't. I'm like, no, the army doesn't sit on anyone's shoulder. Not even the top top.

Like everybody's replaceable, but you're not replaceable to the people around you. You're not replaceable as a parent or a best friend. Sometimes even being a good neighbor. Those are not easy to find and have, you're not replaceable in that. So just recognizing that you are in a role, but you are not that role.

Take a break, and if that break is just to sit and do nothing, that body of yours needs rest. That's another lesson I need to learn is rest is a thing. Rejuvenate because once you've rested and rejuvenated, you actually have more productivity to offer than if you go, go, go. And with better results and higher productivity, a lot of us would probably get a better raise.

Huh? But we, we don't do that. We just have this work mentality, especially in the usa. I don't know where you are listening to this, but in the US it's all about more, more, more. And sometimes that more is work, work, work. So in recap, practice being your future self. Design your life around happiness. Quit beating up that dead horse.

Let the pasco and take breaks. Recognize the importance and the value of stopping. Just stopping. So thank you for listening today. I've enjoyed this. I've enjoyed this podcast and I, I'm honest, I have learned a lot myself just on those four things that I talked about today. So I appreciate your time.

Thank you so much. Leave a review or email me. It's down below in the description box and let's keep building one another up!