Strength, Confidence, and Direction: The Three Pillars of Personal Growth

Strength, Confidence, and Direction: The Three Pillars of Personal Growth 

Hello, welcome to In The Rising Podcast. My name is Bettina Brown and I am your host, and this is the platform from which I talk to you about living alike without guilt regret. Shame, just so that you live a life that is full of independence and joy. This is the kind of program that I talk about every week.

So if this is of interest to you, go ahead and subscribe. You don't even have to leave any remarks. It's just one little button there. So today I'm talking about bringing your intuition into your connections. So I love to talk about self-love and self-care and. There are some things that we need to do that, but one of the things that I feel best exemplifies this and points this out is when we can trust ourselves.

You know, it's not always easy to branch out and build a connection to someone else and trust them. You know, by the time you're in your thirties and forties and fifties, you have plenty of history. In which people have been in your life and have taken that trust and basically trampled it or you know, let's be honest, sometimes we have been that person that trampled on someone else's trust, so, How do we get back to a place where we are comfortable in our own skin?

And one of the things that our own skin, our our own body has is a gut instinct or an intuition. And some people like to talk about the gut and you feel it in your gut. Your gut, how to feel about move this or. There's a bad feeling you sense in your body or the hairs on the back of your neck, stand up.

It's time to leave. You know what? I'm gonna drive this way as opposed to my normal way home. Those are all instincts, but what they also are your intuition. Now, when we are disconnected from our own life, our hopes and dreams and what we feel we are here for. That intuition kind of goes on vacation and it can stay there for quite a while.

So how do you build that back up? How do you ignite that relationship with yourself? So we all know that some of our best answers for what we wanna bring about on life come from us, but we have to pull them out of ourselves. And so this program, I'm gonna talk about three main ways that we can do that.

One of them, and the first one is ask yourself powerful questions like, where do you find your wisdom and your guidance? You know, are you looking always to your friends for an answer? You know, it doesn't matter if it goes from, if the topic is what you should wear, how you should put your hair up. Should you buy this car or that car?

Should you go on that date? Should you study this? What should you do? Everything. Requires a question of someone else, like someone else has an answer. And a lot of us look for our friends for that. And some of those friends can be life or we're, we're able to call them up, text them, et cetera. But a lot of times we will look for kind of popular opinion among our friends and post that, you know, on, on social media.

But that's not really you. Someone else can't know your own answer. As well as you can. So if your first thing is to always go to your friends, you know you're not trusting your gut, ask yourself the question first. Are you always going to your family? And I love this because I ask my family some very good questions and what I think are good questions, and I know that they know.

Me better than anyone else, right? They've seen the good things, the bad things. They've seen me make great choices. They've seen me make less than great choices, but does my family have a better idea of what I am meant to do than I do? Some instances we might argue, yes, but is that really the case? Even as much as your family knows you, they don't know.

Your moment to moment feeling the anxiousness that you have, the excitement that you may have that is just owned by you. And some of us also look to guidance and wisdom, basically from cultural norms, or this one's very popular. We've always done it this way. You know, I'm a nurse because everyone in my family is a nurse.

I do this because that's what everyone has done. That's in my culture to do this, you know, and we can appreciate our culture, and we can appreciate our family, but that does not mean that the arrow of our life is only in one direction. And do we look for wisdom and guidance from, from prayer, whatever you believe in or not believe in.

You know, for, for, for the majority of the people on the planet, we believe in something that something can alter from person to person. But are we connecting with that? You know, if we say we believe in some higher power, whatever that may be, are we tuning in to that higher power? To help us tune into ourselves.

Number two that I have is simplifying our life can get us better in touch with ourselves. So having some main goals in our own life and those goals need to have time and space. Are we providing ourselves that time and space? And what about clutter? Can our goals and dreams and our hopes and our vision.

Really go anywhere if we have lots of literal clutter. You know, stuff is everywhere, on the floor, on the couch. Can we go a lot of places when we have emotional clutter, when we are still in the problem and drama of five years ago or 10 years ago? How can you move forward when you have both feet planted emotionally in the past?

What about financial clutter? You know, we've, we've all understood or heard, well, you know, we're working on getting our finances better, but sometimes we can have financial clutter where we don't even understand where our money is going, where we are not very strict on turning off the lights, turning off the water, not having.

Five or 10 different subscription plans for X, Y, Z, whatever you wanna name it. We're just not strict. So we have all this clutter, which is messing up our goals, which is basically complicating our life. And I had a really great discussion with a friend of mine and she said, you know, there's just so much going on.

How can you simplify when, when there's just. So much, you know, you've got your, your work life, you've got health issues going on, your health issues, family health issues, your emotional things, the, the things going on with your family and friends. You know, it takes its toll. And I absolutely hear that, but there's also a point when you have to make a priority, and maybe that priority at that moment is your friend, your family.

They're going ons, but that cannot be your priority from sunrise to sunset every single day, week after week, month after month. I, I think that is the idea behind simplifying it. Now we don't stay involved in other people's concerns, even when we love those other people. And the third one I have is that to, to really start to connect with yourself is to kind of proceed softly.

You know, I thought about. Getting in touch with my gut feelings and my intuition. I felt like there should just be this, you know, snap of the fingers and poof, there I am in touch with what I know is myself, talking to myself, where, where I'm guiding myself. And that is not necessarily the case. Sometimes we have to build relationships slowly and those relationships can be external.

And the one with yourself takes time. You know, there are people that still talk about learning more about themselves in their sixties and seventies and eighties. So if you're in your twenties and thirties, you still have a lot, a lot of time, a lot of place to go. So it's okay to tread slowly. And yes, there are some gut reactions that, you know, you, you need to just move.

You know, if you see a car coming towards you, you need to hit the brake. But that's not what I'm talking about. It's more how can you relate to your own purpose. And how does your body react? Yes to this or no to that? And it's not always a yes or no answer. What are those things called? Open-ended questions.

You know, sometimes it's more of a generalized direction go, you know, between north and east, but not necessarily just north or east. It's a completely different path, and that is okay. That is what life is about. That is what this entire journey with yourself and, and building that trust to know that you have guidance from yourself, that you have some internal wisdom.

A lot of us, we read and we read and we read, and this person is an expert and you know this and, and I've read this expert and then this person has, everyone has something to say, just like me. I have something to say, but that never is. Stronger or more important than what you say to yourself. And by asking yourself powerful questions, simplifying your life and proceeding slower through your life, you know, a lot of us are in a rush, rush, rush, rush.

We can actually gain more experience trusting our own gut. And the more experience we have, the more our gut or instinct and intuition will talk to us, and the more we feel just connected and grounded. And that's kind of what you see when people just present this self-confidence that they know who they are.

It's not something they've picked up. You know, you can wear all sorts of clothes, but you cannot. You can't copy that. You can't imitate that. You either have it or you don't, and you as a person, you either recognize it, someone else or, or you don't. You know those people that just, they have it, they believe in themselves, and that took some time.

And one of the best ways to practice your own self-care is to give yourself that time, that permission. To just build a trust with yourself. So thank you again for listening in today. I know all of our time, all of our minutes are precious. I appreciate your time and I will see you guys next Tuesday and until then, let's keep building one another!