Stoking the Fire Within: How Desire Fuels Your Pursuits

 Stoking the Fire Within: How Desire Fuels Your Pursuits

Hello and welcome to In The Rising Podcast. My name is Bettina Brown and I am the host of this show in which I talk about living a life that is really in alignment with your hopes, your dreams, your desires, your goals, and getting out of that merry-go-round of shame and blame and unfulfilled. Desires and unfulfilled experiences that you would like.

And a lot of that involves and revolves around self-respect, self-worth and self-awareness. And so I've chosen this platform to talk about these sort of issues because I have just a passion to help people recognize what is important to them and then go after it. So I start off with almost every show saying I'm not a counselor, psychiatrist, or a psychologist, but I am a physical therapist and a healthcare professional who's worked with thousands upon thousands of people and really listen to many stories of people wanting to just achieve what they wanna achieve and dream and go forward.

You know, I do have the opportunity to work with a lot of people who are. You know, at the end, the end, they're at the end of their journey and the thing they regret most is not living a life that was really theirs. They live the roles and the games that other people wanted them to do, and so that's the point of this podcast is to move forward.

With your own life. And today I want to talk about desire. And anytime you say desire, a lot of people, um, think of one thing and that is, you know, just a sexual content. But desire is not just about that. It's not a desire necessarily for another person or an obsession with another person. A desire is just this increased want and des, and you don't use the word in its own definition, but to just.

Pull in a need of something different. It's, I really desire, you know, pistachio almond ice cream where I would just want ice cream, but I would desire pistachio almond ice cream because it's just the best out there. But it's a different experience, right? Uh, you may want to go on vacation, but you really desire to go to Hawaii or you desire to go on a cruise ship.

So there are different levels and desire is really at the top of it. And so what does this really have to do or relate to, or how does this affect anything to do with self-love and self-appreciation? Well, actually quite a lot. When you are in a place where you acknowledge and you recognize and see how important you are and valued you are.

Whether someone else sees it or not, you are more likely to follow through with what your desires are. Not just a want, you know, there's a, the job you get up to that you just do because it pays the bill. Well, you want to have, you know, a roof over your head. You want to have your, your bills paid. So you go to a job, you go to that job.

But if there's no. No option. No. Oh, I'm just so excited in the morning to get up and do it. Well then it's a want, not a desire, you know, you're not desiring to, to make a big change. You're just kind of wanting to get the basics done. And so I read a couple different articles and one was a really phenomenal blog, which I'm gonna put in, the, the little reference box below.

It's from She Bites and it's not. As in eating anything or biting another person. But, , B Y t e s. And it's one of the best articles that I have really come across. It's well written and it's just inspiring, but she talks about couple steps that help you achieve your desire, you know, and those steps begin with this.

So number one is you have to really appreciate where you are. And to appreciate where you are. You can start off by looking at other people and recognizing them, and maybe write it down if that's your, your privy is, what do you really appreciate about certain people? They can be your boss, they can be a relative, they can be a friend, they can be your spouse.

What do you really appreciate about them? What, what about that person excites you to be in their presence? And now step two is, you know, look back at step one and, and write down the things that you possess. You know, if you really enjoy someone who's got the ability to listen, and when they're listening, they're not scrolling on their phone, they're not, you know, thinking already about what their response will be to you.

They are completely present and attentive to you, and you possess that. Write that down. What do you possess? Already that you already admire in other people. Number three is recognize the ones you don't have. They recognize the things you'd like to have a little bit more and work on that. But when you're working on that, there's, there's the step right here that's super important is exercising self-compassion.

That habits are hard to break. Habits are incredibly hard to break. They, they work for us because we don't have to think. And thinking is difficult. Thinking, um, consciously about a lot of things is exhausting, but thinking is difficult. And if thinking is difficult, well actions are certainly not any easier.

But recognizing that you're worth the change. That is huge. Recognizing that you are the treasure, already, recognizing that you have that value at that moment and recognizing it means then you act it. So her example, which I love, is what about if you recognize that you are now. A person that has the ability to build a mansion from the ground up.

You know, you, you do the whole leveling and you're not gonna hire all this out. You are so excited. You're doing a lot of this work alongside, you know, you and your contractors because we are talking about a lot of space and you are completely involved with this. You get up every single day and you work on the outlines.

You go to the city themselves and, and you, you know, try to get these permits through. You are sitting there with the accountant doing the budgeting. Then you're sitting there with the designer over all the different pain samples and all the different colors of blue and all the different shades of tile and what's it, what's, what's popular now?

Is it herringbone? Is it Subway? You were all enthralled with this and you put all of it together. You spend, I don't know, 18 months, 24 months working in this project and then. Someone says, yeah, you know, I'll rent it for like a hundred bucks a night. But that's already pushing it. Like, what do you say?

Are you so grateful for a hundred dollars that you're, you're gonna rent out what you've put all this work and effort in? Are you like, no, this is gonna rent out for, you know, $5,000 per hour. Or I might exaggerate, but, you know, $200,000 a month. Somebody will pay that because it's worth it. It's a slap in the face to offer a hundred dollars a night for the work you've invested in it for all of the attention and the time that you've put into it, because you're gonna, you're gonna act like, like, no, you, you, I'm not gonna do that.

Your actions are that you'd rather sell it than rent it for that. It's just not comparable. Well, what about. All the time, the effort, the energy that you have put in yourself. What about if you do have that higher education, all those years, all those years of studying, and then someone tells you they'll offer you, you know, minimum wage.

Now, there are times, you know, when you're like, okay, well, you know, times are desperate, but you know, that's not what you're worth. Absolutely. You have way too much to bring to offer in your reasoning, in your capabilities, then to settle for that, so you're not going to accept it at all. You can add this to relationships, all the stuff that you've been through, you know, all the relationship turmoil, all of the ups and downs and lying and this, and, well, I hope they call me back.

And all of the, you know, being evasive for all the Facebook stalking and, and you know, all this stuff you've dealt with. And then you meet someone and they're like, well, you know, you can't do this. I don't really like when you do that. And you're like, no. I mean, you nip that in the butt before they're even done talking.

Like, I have been through way too much to listen to this nonsense. So you're acting like it. You're not acting like, well, I'm just so glad someone's paying attention to me. You, you, I mean, you just stood up and go, Uhuh, I can't even listen to the end of this paragraph. I got to go because you know you're worth, and not only do you know it, But now you are acting like it because once you act like it, that's what you're gonna start to get.

You're gonna start to notice this coming around from different parts, like, you know, only the job offers that are really worth your time are gonna be in front of you because you, you're just like, no, only the people that really are worth your time are gonna be the ones sticking around. The people that can engage with you, the people that can help you grow, the people that will motivate you and inspire you, and you will motivate, inspire them to grow and to appreciate where they're at and to, you know?

And, and what does this have to do with desire? Well, there's a desire to act. So what does this all have to do with desire? Well, everything. If you desire an excellent relationship, well then your behavior needs to align with that desire. So as soon as someone says, well, I, I want you here at this time, I don't like you hanging out with so-and-so, you desire freedom and honesty and your relationship to a point that you are not going to accept this.

You move on if you desire a wonderful job opportunity. And either your place of employment or a place you applied is just not going to offer that opportunity to you. They don't see your value. Well, then you create your own value. You use from what you know, what you can get from that job, but then you realize it is a job and not a career.

You make your own career. You look for those opportunities. You give value to your current place, but you take value and move it into your own. What about with parenting? You desire to be an excellent parent. Well, in that desire to be an excellent parent, you recognize that saying no is just as important as saying yes.

To be an excellent parent means to be a parent and not the cool friend. To be the parent means sometimes feeling a little bit alone, but your desire for a parent and being that parent far supersedes the irritation from your child. What about if you desire to be going on vacation, then you show pictures to yourself.

You have, you have a goal in mind. You have an end point. It's kind of like the Alice in Wonderland, um, story where Alice is lost and you know, the rabbit's like, well, which way do you wanna go? And she's like, well, I don't know. I, I want you to tell me which way I wanna go. And the rabbit's like, well, where's your goal?

And she says, I don't have one. Well, then it doesn't really matter if you go this way or that way. And that's just it. We have to have a desire, an end point, an end goal for ourself, our relationships, our our opportunities, our motions, because then we can get off the merry ground and actually move forward because motion and movement are not synonymous with actually moving forward.

In order to create desire in your life, you have to really stop and look at what is important to you and really stop even for, so what is it that you desire in your life? What is it that you desire? Is it to get outta bed? Is it to recognize that nothing ever is easy, but that doesn't mean it's not worth it.

Is it not to recognize that sometimes those lows are just as important as the highs to give you maybe a little bit more fire and desire to achieve what you want to achieve, to be who you want to be. At the end of the day, there are wants and want sketchy somewhere. You know, I wanna have. Coffee in the morning.

I can get that. But if I desire a beautiful cup of coffee with my wonderful snack, well then that takes a little bit more work. I want to have an experience with that. You know, there's a, that's why Starbucks is the way it is. People desire a, you know, a, a cup of coffee that's done for them. That's why you'll wait 20 or 30 minutes in line for a cup of coffee that you can make at your house, because the desire.

For having that made the desire for the, the symbol that it shows other people the symbol when you go to work or go to a store of having that logo on your cup. It's a desire that people are willing to wait for. But if you're not in that kind of desire, you'll get up in the morning and make up your own cup of coffee in the in the kitchen and drink it real fast cuz you don't have a cool mug to even take it with you anywhere.

Or I may take it, that might have been my own experiences, but the whole point is that if you have a desire, something that keeps you up at night, something that wakes you up in the morning, you have absolutely everything inside of you to get there. And so it does involve acknowledging and having that self-awareness, realizing you're worth the desire, you're worth it as it is.

And so what you really want. May or may not be achieved, but what you desire will, it will manifest because only what you appreciate appreciates in life, and that includes yourself. So the more you appreciate where you are, where you've come from, what you've learned, how you've grown, the more you will realize.

Recognize. All of that and then act accordingly. So thanks for listening today on my little soliloquy about desire. I appreciate it. If you enjoyed this podcast, go ahead and leave a review or go ahead and sign up for subscription. Every Tuesday I drop another podcast show. So until then, let's keep building one another up.