Facing the Future: The Role of the Five F Words in Achieving Success

 Facing the Future: The Role of the Five F Words in Achieving Success

Greetings and welcome to In The Rising Podcast. My name is Bettina Brown, and this is the platform I've chosen to talk about living a life that is in alignment with your hopes, your dreams, your goals, your aspirations. And really what you really want out of life as opposed to that shame, blame game that we tend to have.

So I know you're a cool person. If you clicked on this podcast wondering what the F word will be, or wondering if the F word is what you expect the F word to be. Well, since I love to talk about what makes us take, I also love to talk about what makes us stand still. And sometimes that F word can mean different things to different people.

And sometimes the F word is completely a different word to different people. So I wanted to talk about five F words today that can really impact our lives. And I'm gonna start off with fear. Sometimes I'll read that fear is nothing but a state of mind. And you know, it makes it sound like that's not a really big deal.

But isn't, isn't your state of mind a really big deal? Like, isn't that the state of you? Isn't that the state of me? So having that fear in our mind can really be life changing and life altering and basically life limiting. And I do feel that fear gets a little bit of a bad rap sometimes, because sometimes having fear is the exact thing that energizes us beyond our comfort zone, beyond what we know and beyond what we ever dreamed we would be able to do or be able to think.

For some of us, fear can be as much of a motivator as it can be a trajectory. It really just depends on that perspective that a person has. And what I really think helps us grow is understanding that fear is really a part of the human experience. And we can accept it and we can step into it. We can walk through it, we can run through it.

Or we can make a different choice. We can choose to run away from it. It's basically like knowing the sun will rise the next day. You know the sun is going to rise, and you have brand new choices to make with that day. You have brand new choices to make with fear. And as I was doing a little bit of research on this, like we can have all sorts of fears.

We can have fear of heights, we can have fear of bugs. I have a personal fear of scorpions and snakes and spiders, and I can continue if it's on the ground. I don't like it. But we can also have things like the fear of missing out. , we can have the fear of success, a fear of rejection, a fear of being judged.

Fear of having fear, we can have the fear of losing control over our situation, or feeling like we're gonna lose control of ourselves over our actions, over our mind. We can feel like we can, you know, try to manipulate ourselves or judge, you know, other people or our situations, but we certainly don't ever want to be the one judged or manipulated.

Right. Well, what about if these fears are not just a state of mind? What if this fear has kind of been you're saving grace. You know, you have a history of, of, of traumas, deep rooted psychological, emotional traumas. You've had the fear of God placed into you through religious organizations or, your parents.

You've had the fear of failure and fear of anything really put around from the people you know. And speaking of failure, That's another F word. I am gonna say this word and I'm pretty sure I'm missing it up, but it's a tichy phobia. I'm pretty sure I said that wrong. But a tichy phobia is the fear of failure, like it's a legitimate phobia, and people can react differently to this.

I mean, they can have physical symptoms, they can actually fear. Having this fear failure so much that they'll actually get digestive distress, which is really now like one of my favorite, little sayings like digestive distress. I'm experiencing some digestive distress. I just, I love that. It's a kind of feeling where you get increased heart rate and sweaty palms.

You know, there are people that have legitimate panic and anxiety attacks and feel as though they have to escape. Where they are physically standing at that moment. This may even come from a series of events that they've been through, , or, or series of events that seem similar to something in the past where the fear of failure was just overwhelming, where they actually maybe have failed, maybe they also failed, , or missed out fomo.

They missed out on a really good job opportunity or on a really good relationship or a good educational opportunity. And it just replays in this person's mind over and over again how this event would have really changed the trajectory, the direction of their life. You may also develop this fear after hearing someone else's experience, and this is called informational learning.

So if you hear someone else had a poor experience, on the tram or, or running through a dog park and you know their dog was attacked, suddenly you have this fear. So I think it's just really interesting that you know, we are, if you're empathetic, if one person yawns, then you'll start to yawn you. You know that this yawning is contagious.

Well, so is this fear. This fear failure is also contagious. And this one is especially huge for people who are quote unquote perfectionists. Sometimes the most perfectionistic person is the one that really appears to be procrastinating the most because they're not gonna do it if it's not perfect. If the action is yet not perfect, in their mind, they're not gonna do anything.

They're, they're the same one. Don't come to my house because, you know, not everything is perfect. So they're missing out on really wonderful opportunities, wonderful time to spend with friends and loved ones, but something's not quite perfect. You know, everything could have been a complete mess, and everyone would be able to laugh and just enjoy this opportunity to be together.

But it wasn't perfect. It wasn't the way someone had it in their mind, and so it was all to crap. It's just too sad. Imperfection cannot be seen as beautiful. And we hear really wonderful quotes, you know, how someone really failed before and they figure something out and how beneficial that was. And I've noticed that a lot on social media lately.

 Like from thought leaders, et cetera. People who are really talking about all the ways they failed. You know, here's the, the headlines. My $100,000 mistake, or here's my $500,000 mistake, and here's this mistake that you should not do. Here's how I lost four years of my life before I figured this out. I don't wanna move, you know, four years of my life and I certainly don't wanna make a hundred thousand dollars mistake or a $500,000 mistake since I don't even make that in a year.

But they really put that out. But what about this fear of failure? You know, we feel that we may fail at this relationship, we may fail at this marriage, but what about if failing at both of those things is really a blessing? Number three, F word, fake or foe for, you know, Some of us are a little more educated in, in the, the finer things of life.

I don't know. I always think of foe as, as well. It is French, but I always think of the older French times with all their little locks along the side. Yeah, back to Marie Antoinette times. But at the same, same thing. Fake foho ache. How do you know if you're in a relationship? Friendship doesn't matter with a real person.

Now you can literally Google all the different ways you can identify if this person's a fake friend, a fake person, a fake coworker, how do you know if you're in a real relationship with someone instead of a situation ship, right? A fake one. Are you able to smooth over bumps in the road that you and this person had and, and you're able to, come back to a place where you're, you're able to connect?

Or are you noticing that you are being fake? Are you trying to blend in with your work environment or your social environment? Your social group? Are you doing what other people expect of you or are you doing what you really like? Did you go to law school instead of medical school because that's what people expected of you?

Did you end up, you know, being a professor instead of an artist? Like, are you living a fake life? Did you buy that car that you're driving because you're actually interested in it? It's a passion or desire for you? Or did you think really well the guy at the red light might really kinda be envious? Yeah.

It's something to think about. I. It's something to think about when you're posting how, you know this is the love of your life, and everyone that's known you for the past 15 years knows that this is really not the case. Like, you're, you're, you're, you're falling apart or you know how healthy you're eating and how wonderful things are.

And everyone knows you haven't even eaten Apple in the last 25 years. You know, are you putting a mask on your face and leaving that on all day every day? Are you being fake with yourself about your own expectations and your own hopes and your own goals? Are they your goals or are they someone else's?

And number four, F word feed. So how does this, how does this relate? Well, you know, when we talk about fear and fears in your mind, I also kind of related this to what you feed your mind makes a difference. Are you feeding your mind with things that's gonna make you grow? Are you feeding your mind with mind numbing actions that never get you to grow, that never engage you in activity, never engage you with intellectual knowledge or more gifts for yourself, or gifts and offerings that you can give to other people?

Are you feeding yourself with things that are, you know, positive? And rewarding and loving, or you feeding yourself a whole bunch of negativity and worry and anxiety. You know, Albert Einstein said that you feed you. If you were to feed your mind as much as you'd feed your stomach, you know, abundantly, and with the absolute best you would live a great life.

I kind of like Albert Einstein. I like how he was kind of radical. I like that he didn't talk till he was seven. I like that he was against the grain. I like that he fed his mind really only the best. You know your mind will always believe what you tell it. If you feed it hope it will give you hope. If you feed it truth, it will give you truth and if you feed it love you will get more love.

You know, there's a lot of research on this and there's a really great book called The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy. And you know, he published it a long time ago. It's been republished several times. And he would give presentations like way back in the fifties and sixties, way beyond Tony Robbins, you know, and I mean, I'm sure he was born, but I, he was not on the stage yet, you know, way beyond.

It was really cool. And he talked a lot about removing these mental blocks. At the beginning of the day, at the end of the day, and while you sleep, because at the end of the day, we all have a story written in our subconscious mind, A story we've told ourselves, a story other people have told us. You know, what about if we stop for a moment and we think how many of us are really just still affected by the things of our childhood?

You know, what if you had parents that said, I wish you'd never been born. Or you had parents that say, I never knew, I, I never knew that you would grow into something wonderful. I always thought you're a failure. Or people just said, Hey, you're a failure. You know, the whole family's a failure. You know that story.

Your mama was a failure. Your papa's a failure. You're gra you're nothing. You're nothing. You'll never be anything. Is that what was fed into our, our mind like. Always having to be what we feed it. Sometimes I think we just need to start over. Like if you have really a wasteland or a desert for a mind and a like a hope, you know, just put some new seeds on there and you water it.

You have the ability and the responsibility to water your own mind, to water your own soul. Not everything can be done for you. And so how can we get this really started? Well, I think with the final F word, and that's faith. So now don't bulk, you know, bulk right away and go, oh, oh, she said that other F word I'm not so fond of, but I, I do personally believe that having a higher being, and my faith in that is my standard.

And I'm not ashamed of that, but I, as much as I believe in having a higher being, and I certainly feel like I'm a spirit junkie, not a religion junkie. I also believe that faith has a place like our faith in the process of life. Having faith that there are ups and there are downs is, is really having faith in science as well.

I mean, the basic law that says for every action there's an equal and opposite reaction is a fact. It doesn't say for every action there's a 10 time fold overreaction, but only for you. Insert your name here. It doesn't say that you're the only one that's gonna be affected by cause and effect. You know, when we see things happening and karma's working in a positive way, well, it can work in a negative way, but it still works.

What about that law of transmutation where every small step, every small action, every single day, leads to really a big change at some point in time? You know, if you go to college, for example, And I don't know how many classes or credits it takes nowadays. It just seems really way too many, to count.

But you go and you go for eight semesters or you're like me and you go for 10, or you know what, there are people I know they went for 15, but they went and went and went and one day they have a college degree. You know, every single day you're going. You have a quiz, you have a test, you pass another quiz, you pass another class, you sign up for another class.

You take a summer class, you take a spring class, and then you graduate, right? You may or may not walk, but then you graduate, and all of that culminates with someone asking you one question, Hey, what was your bachelor degree in or your master's degree in? In my case, I say biochemistry. Nowhere do you see five years of courses and you certainly don't see two jobs.

You don't cer see the hours of working and crying. I did cry cuz I gotta see in biology, I, I thought that was it. And you don't see how many index cards I have purchased for flashcards. You don't see that in my one word answer. You just see the big picture. But it was a series of small steps. You know, someone may ask you, Hey, do you rent or do you own?

And I can say I own, I mean, technically I'm renting it from the mortgage company at this point, but you know, I get to check the own box. But the process that it took to, to be here, it's one word. So what about if we take a pause and look at every of every small action that we can make? And what about compensation?

And I don't mean compensation just as in money, although that is that. What about, as you know, we use our language here, we pour into other people. You know, someone poured into me. They gave me mentorship and love and hope and coaching. They've done a lot for me. Isn't that some sort of compensation for.

What you've done in life. So having faith is that f word I really appreciate, every single day. And I believe that f word of faith is something that can mean that we have have greater things for us. What about every effort and every day have an f word that is actually doing something to greater your life.

Well, like I say, every week, thank you so much for your time because you know what time is that resource? We don't get back. Not ever, ever. And I'm so grateful that you spent your time with me today. I look forward to hearing your comments. Again, you can connect with me through email or my Instagram, and until next Tuesday when we meet again, let's keep building one another up!