(Step 7 of 7 Self-Love Mini Series): Living a life with intention

Step-7-of-7-self-love-mini-series-living-a-life-with-intention

Hello, welcome to In The Rising Podcast, and this is a platform from which I talk to you about living alike without the captivity. Of guilt and regret so that you can use your self-worth to live an empowered, independent, and free life. Why is that? Because you know deep down that there's a disconnect between where you are now and the you you were created to be.

I am your host, Bettina Brown, and I'm gonna start off by saying I am not a licensed counselor, psychologist, psychiatrist, but I am a student of life and a healthcare professional who loves to research and have conversations about what makes us, us. So if this topic and similar topics are of interest to you, go ahead, hit subscribe, and leave a review.

It really helps me out a lot. And I also enjoy receiving feedback from you. So go ahead and email me at betina in the rising.com and all this info and the resources, for this podcast are in the description below. So welcome to episode 11, and this is the last episode. In the Miri mini series of what does self-love look like?

And I'm gonna admit to you that I think it might be my favorite topic, but how to live an intentional life and how does that work with self-worth and and self-love. And so we have to start off with another question. What does living intentionally even. And I like to think in analogies, metaphors, it just paints a concrete picture from an abstract image that works better for me.

And so I came up with an image that I hope works out for you. So when I was thinking about living an intentional life, I was thinking about moving forward and what kind of games do we have when we move forward? And I thought about bowling because I was a bowler as a young, as a young kid, while part of the youth association for bowling, et cetera, et cetera.

And I thought about life kind of like a ball, either a bowling ball or a pinball. And maybe you're already on track with where I'm leading this into, but a bowling ball has direction. Yes. It's thrown down that alley. And there are some days that you feel like you've been thrown down the alley, or maybe I'm speaking for myself, but there are some goals.

You know, there are arrows that we try to follow along as the ball needs to be on those arrows to hit in the right spot to get the objective, which is a strike, to get all the pins down, to get all the pins down for that day or for that meeting. Or for your life, but there are other parts of, of the bowling lane that we have no control over.

Those are outside influences, such as was there a little too much oil laid down or is it kind of dry? And that that shifts you as the bowling ball. A little left, a little right, and you may not hit your target, but you're still going forward. Sometimes the railings on the side are down and you might just end up in the gutter.

Sometimes you end up in the gutter a couple days, maybe I'm again speaking for myself, but the ball comes back and you have another opportunity, and then you have the next frame, and you have another chance, and another chance, and another chance. And as long as you stay at that bowling alley, you just keep at it.

And with time, your precision of where that ball needs to go on that prescribed lane gets. It just continues to get better, and if it's a little oily or a little dry, you can make really quick adjustments to still get to your target. The other ball I thought about was a pinball from a pinball machine that we start off, you know, really excited and we've got a lot of gumption.

We've got a lot of push behind us. And then we kind of go left and right. We are hit this way. We're hit that way. Sometimes the whole thing tilts on us. Sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes we're trying to move quickly and then we slow back down. It's left and right. It's very reactive. It's not proactive at all.

And though you can get really good at pinball as that ball goes around, it never really. Moves forward. It's just left and right, up and down many different directions. And so from the bowling to pinball perspective, I was thinking not about points in general, but just the direction, the direction of movement.

And I thought also that life is this collection of choices, right? And our choices can lead us towards a strike. It can lead us towards the end and, and precision and accuracy, which are not the same thing, but it can also just lead us going along, kind of letting life happen to us instead of having an intent.

And that's where intention comes from. What I really liked was this quote that I saw listed several times. Cause I always do research when I do these podcasts. I am a total nerd and I love it and I love quotes That keeps me going and I saw this lady mentioned several times and her name is Annie Dillard and she has been quoted as saying How we live our days is how we live our lives.

And it's one day at a time, but those days continue to add up, right? It's, it's an investment that you get interest added or taken away. If you keep putting it on credit cards, it's gonna keep pulling away. It it, it makes a difference. Every single choice has has a consequence. And some of those consequences are awesome and in the direction of what we want in our life, but some of them aren't.

So choices, decision, responsibility, all of that. But it doesn't have to be daunting. And it's another thing to do on my list of adult things to do, but I put down a few things that I felt help. Help us live a little bit more with intention, with, with a goal. And one of them, number one, is to set a purpose for your life.

Like, why are you here? And I don't know, sometimes I'm not so sure on the answer either for myself, but I know I'm here for a reason. It, it helps me in my day, helps me with my life. I know there are talents that I have that I can put into this world. That they may make a change or an impact or an impression on someone else.

And I am not responsible for all of the impacts and, and LDS other changes, but I am responsible for moving forward with my own life and the, the gifts I have been given. I thought about what will kind of example do I have of this, and I thought about this, so I am a hands-on person, complet. I am a hands-on person so far as arts and crafts.

I learn better if I can touch it and feel it. I guess this goes back to what I said earlier, you know, having a a, a metaphor to paint, a concrete image in my head versus this abstract, I'm not good with a lot of theory. I like hands-on. I like to feel stuff, I like to make stuff. I have a hands-on profession.

As a physical therapist, it's just, I, I feel and I see. Both through my hands, right? I, it's just visceral for me. Well, one of my talents is to be creative and I learned how to crochet as a young girl, and I wasn't all that good at it. But then I had a very bleak financial semester where I didn't have much money, so I, I bought some yarn and that's what I did for an entire semester was just make blankets because yarn was cheap and I got better.

And I got better. And it got to the point where I was using different needle sizes. I was doing stuff where you, like the doilies, but using regular yarn, making bigger things, changing up patterns, being able to even read a pattern, being able to whip out things like gloves and scarves without any issue in time.

And so one of my commitments was to use this talent. And make gifts. So birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, and also giving to other people something that was made with love and I've thought about that person when I made it, or I, I had a good intention for them when I made them a scarf or just something that could brighten their day using this talent.

And doing something with it, that's an intention. So when I'm sitting down and I might just might be watching four or five episodes on Netflix, after a while I will have my hands full again, and I'm still creating with that life. I'm giving my brain a break, but I'm still giving and loving into the world.

I know that's a purpose of mine. So number two is setting goals. I looked at it and I, I already thought people are gonna roll their eyes. Like, how is it that everything about self-love and self-care and understanding what you have here to do on this world involves goals? Like, it always involves setting more goals, but I think it's because it's important.

Right? What do you wanna, if you have a pinball, And you're going left and right. You don't necessarily have to have a goal, but if you wanna get that strike, you have to have an intention. You have to have a goal to meet that. And how can you move forward if you don't know where you need to go? How do you know you're going forward and not backwards if you don't know where you're going to go?

And that's where I believe having these goals in play comes in. And so, A lot of us have different goals in time: exercise goals, meditation goals, how many books you're gonna read if you're going to, visit some different country or visit some parts of the same country. And what I love about that is it gives you something to achieve, you know, something to work for, something to strive.

And when you've done it, there's just this feeling. Accomplishment, an achievement that you can do it, and that will be a self-fulfilling prophecy in. You know, you can do it again. And so some goals may take 20, 30 years and some may only take to the end of this week. But having that goal is making sure that your decisions are helping you with that goal.

My goal right now is to buy a Perla for the backyard. And if I spend all this money on X, Y, and Z and everything but that pergola, I'm not gonna get my goal. My goal is to spend time in my backyard and out of the sun and. Sitting outside, smelling fresh air, hearing the birds, and hanging out with my dogs.

I cannot do that unless I have some shade. I live in New Mexico. There is a lot of sun here, so I need that. So if I keep buying a coffee and a this and a that, I will not be able to follow through on my final goal. And those small decisions add up. So number one was set a purpose for your life. Number two, set goals.

Three, express, G. And here's another one comes up again, but it makes sense I think if we stop to think about it. How can you know you have a fulfilling life if you never get to stop to examine your life? How do you know you're gonna be fulfilled if you don't stop to smell the roses? How do you know your garden's beautiful?

If you never look at it, how do you know that you have. A great figure and you look good today. If you don't stop and look in the mirror to appreciate what, what you've done with yourself. How can we just achieve and move on or not achieve and move on? We have to realize that life is here right now. We have visions, we have purpose, we have goals, and that's all wonderful for that future.

But right now, your right now is the future of y. So appreciating where you are, and even if you feel it's a small step from where you were yesterday, that small step continues to add up. Each single day adds up. And number four, I, wrote this down, is just that living a life where you feel pulled into a direction as opposed to pushed.

I did a little more research on this and I even stopped to think about how does this relate to my life and the lives of people. I get to have conversations with friends, clients, et cetera, and we just seem to have a different perspective if we are energized to do something. If your goal is to get up and.

Make your cup of coffee because that's your ritual. It brings your morning some peace or a cup of tea, whatever it is. It's a very different feel as you are warming up your water, or if you have a little puree to even, you know, hit the button what size you want. It's a different feel to it as opposed to someone nagging you.

Hey, where's my coffee? Where's my tea? Didn't I do this? I want you to do that. I've always done this for you. Why can't you make my cup of coffee? You didn't add enough sugar for it. There's just a different. Perspective and there's a different result. Like they, that cup of coffee may be for you or for someone else, and it, it's just different how you feel when it's over.

One is like, ah, here I am going to enjoy this coffee or enjoy this coffee with someone. And another one is where there's just been so much pushing for perfection or pushing for something that you're not even happy. Like you're glad the coffee situation's over with, you're looking to the next thing. But there's no joy in that moment, and I think that can be extrapolated or pulled to bigger pictures.

Maybe you are a nurse because everyone in your family was a. But that's not your thing. Maybe you have a four bedroom house because everyone you know, says they want a four bedroom house. But that's not your thing. You, you don't want a house, you want travel. There has to be something that pulls you to wanna do it.

And um, I thought about this podcast, for example. I love it. I enjoy it. I enjoy. Talking to people afterwards. I enjoy having a venue and a, and an avenue to get out into the world, and I enjoy knowing that there may be one person. That gets something out of it, just like I was one person that received a message or a word or an idea from someone else's creativity, that gives me a lot of pull.

And even though these podcasts are 15, 18 minutes long, it does not take 15, 18 minutes to get it together. Like there's research from it. I've read books, I've write all these things. I have to get the music to flow with the words, and then I have to upload it and I have to assign it. And then if I do several at one time, there's a lot of work.

This is several hours, but it doesn't feel like work because I feel pulled to do it and I enjoy it, versus there are other things such as dishes and laundry that I don't have the same. Feel for. So I think that's a big clue. Are you pulled in that or do you just feel pushed? Because being pushed with every avenue of your life, health, finances, the joy isn't in there.

The joy isn't in there. So setting a purpose for your life, setting goals, expressing gratitude every day, and living a life where you. Pulled to do something helps you create a life with intention, and in no way, in no way does this mean that I have it all figured out that any book or any guru or educator, teacher, inspirational quote, nothing has it figured out.

I believe it's not about being figured out, but the process of that journey to get. And so if there's a little voice inside you that's nagging you, something is not on the right path, maybe you listen to it because you can set yourself on the right path. And this is ultimately a personal responsibility.

No one's in charge of my life but me and no one's in charge of your life, but you. And even though that can be daunting, there's a lot of joy and a lot of pride and a lot of value in that. So perhaps this is the first show you've listened to and, um, I'm grateful for that. I'm also blessed if you have listened to several of them.

If you found this topic interesting or valuable and it's opened your mind, I ask you to share it with someone that you know, some, share it with someone that you care about, and maybe this will open up some further conversations between you guys. Perhaps it will open up a door for someone. Future. If this is way down, I'm recording this in 2020.

If this is way down, I'm gonna wish you the best and there's a divine timing for absolutely everything. Again, I enjoy receiving feedback and I will see you next Tuesday. Let's keep building one another up!