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April 7, 2020

How to Transform Your Life by Focusing on These 12 Parts that Matter the Most

Do you feel that your life is the best it can be? How do you know that? 

Do you every look at your whole life, and get a general sense that things are going well, or that they can improve?

In this episode, I talk about 12 specific areas of our life that create an easy way to look at each component without the feeling of being overwhelmed. Since the point of life is to live OUR best life, taking one section at a time can create insight, and give us the time to create actionable sets to boost our life experience.

 

Resources:

Kim Cash Tate on YouTube

Code of an Extraordinary Mind Book

Life Book

Article about Self-Awareness from Positive Psychology

 




I invite you to listen to In the Rising Podcast- a show dedicated to helping others create change and a life that they really want.

"Living the life I want"
was a phrase that I heard often while working with clients going through cancer, and so I created this podcast. I also saw that there is a gap in knowledge about cancer, lymphedema and how to manage recovery, so I created Fit after Breast Cancer.


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Bettina

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Transcript

Hello, welcome to The Rising Podcast, and this is the platform from which I talked to you about living a life without the captivity of guilt and regret, so that you can use your self-worth and actualize it to live an empowered, independent, and free. My name is Bettina, and I am your host. And I will start off by saying again that I am not a licensed counselor, psychologist, psychiatrist, but I am a student of life and a healthcare professional who loves to research and figure out what makes us tick.
And if this is something that interests you or this topic and similar topics are of interest, you go ahead and subscribe and leave a review down below and check out the other episodes. 

And I enjoy receiving feedback via my email, which is also in the description box. So this is episode 18. I pray all of you are doing well, and I wanted to take a little time today to share something, of course, that I just finished and found eyeopening and heart opening and soul opening, and it is a course on, on figuring out all the different parts of you.

What makes you tick. It's called life. And I came across this course,  kind of like when you go on YouTube and then there's always these five seconds of a video you get to watch before you can skip the ad. And there are a lot of ads that I get because of the things I listen to on YouTube, but this is an online academy called Mind Valley and it started the owner of the founders.

I'm gonna say it wrong Vishen Lakhiani

I hope I didn't butcher that. I probably did, but either way, his first name is Vishen and comes from Malaysia and. He really just has all sorts of interesting people that he gets to interview. So, you know, you work your way up and you get to interview some very hard to interview people. And in this online academy there are all sorts of things on this mine valley where some are much more esoteric and there's hypnosis and  views on different chakras.

And then there are other things such as. Evaluating your own life, how can you read quicker? You know?  it was by Jim Quick, actually, another one. How can you read more books? How can you ingest information that actually makes sense to you? So there are things I really like, and one of these ads came up and it worked, it worked on me guys, and it was about Lifebook.

What this is is,  life book and he basically vision talks about other people, what they do. And Life book is not from vision. It's actually from a man called John Butcher and he's, you know, some multimillionaire. I didn't look up everything, but he's owned multiple, multiple businesses and he came up with this strategy for himself.
And taught it to a few people just in passing. And then of course this became this class later on, but he started, John Butcher started his own quest because he was running himself into the ground. That may sound familiar to some of you, cuz I've been there myself doing all of these things for everyone.

You have to do more, work harder, more, more, more, more, more. And what you have for yourself is, Less, less, less, less, less. And then there's this point, you realize you don't really have much of yourself. Well, per John Butcher, this is kind of where he was, where he developed even a fear of being able to leave the house where he had to just give up the reins of his job because he couldn't even function.
He had completely exhausted himself and his father was looking to help him and gave him,  one of those infomercials, you know, kind of look at yourself, kind of. And it was through that, that was the beginning of John Butcher's ex self-examination. That's how the story goes. And from all of these books that he read and courses, he went to courses, he learned all of this.

He came up with this strategy for himself. This was never something he was looking to. Put to other people, this was something he was looking to work on himself with and he called it his own life book later on. But what what it really is, is looking at what some other authors have called the Wheel of Life or the Sections of Life.
Components of Life. Rooms of Life. And he talks about these 12 aspects and they are as follows, health and fitness, emotional, character. Relationships, parenting, financial aspect, social, your social life, your career, your spiritual life, your quality of life, your intellectual life, and your entire life vision.

And he looks in every single section. You as a student in this course, look in every single one of those 12 aspects, and you do a pre-test and you get some number. And you go through this entire course, and then you do a post test. You know, it's like, do you, how do you feel strongly about this? And these questions, do you strongly agree?
Do you strongly disagree? And,  everywhere in between. And you get another number. And the entire point is to have a,  higher number at the end, which means you have been able to really be self-reflective and identify the life you really want to. So in each of these sections, and it did take some time.

And I will admit to you, even though I've done a lot of self-worth analysis and self in my life analysis and I've read a lot of books and I've wanted to start this podcast to  kind of give a, a quick synopsis of a lot of the stuff I have, you know, learned on my own, I have to say that I learned a great.

And out of those 12 sections, there are four components to each one that Life Book continues to look at. And the first thing, the first thing that he looks at, which I love, is the premise, identifying your core beliefs, like what beliefs, for example, your spiritual life. What is your core belief? What are your core beliefs, if you have more than one, and how is that shaping your.

And how, how are these beliefs holding you back or pushing you forward? And what would they like to be, you know,  if for example, do you even have a spiritual life? Is that something that's important to you? You know, for some people it isn't. Is it something that is,  something you were just like, you know what?

I will go for example, for me , is it something that. Bettina. I only wanna go once a week that calls that. That's it. I'm good. I show up, I do my church thing on Sunday, and that fulfills me. Is it something deeper? And this was, I, I knew this is something I needed deeper in my life. I wanted more of a community.
And not that my church is in a community, but there's a difference between a thousand and. Right. I wanted to be known and seen, which is why I got,  interested in a Bible study group with, with women, , met on a regular basis and talked about different things. And, you know, it's almost like a, what's, what's spoken here, stays here.

But I, I got the sense of being seen and I believe that my. And my personal relationship with my higher being became greater when I could have a relationship with like-minded individuals. And top of the church. And as I continued on, I realized I like to do my own studies. And there is a, a wonderful YouTuber out there.

Her name is Kim Cash. Tate and I have done some studies with her, really phenomenal. I've watched her grow her channel. I've watched her grow, to now she was doing some Webi episodes. She just started her podcast. Puts that up on YouTube as well. Real. And she's an author, a fiction,  biblical author, and now writing some non-fiction.
But I realized I wanted more studies. I wanted to just have Bettina time with, you know, maybe another person. And so I started watching Kim Cash Tate and journaling on the side. So I had my church, my bible study. I had that on the side and I had my prayer. And so, Then I decided, no, you know what? I just wanted to fill more of my life with positivity, with, with bigger, you know, spirituality.

And so I would listen to,  different again on YouTube cuz I have, you know, a not short commute to work. So I would listen to something on the way there. From Elevation Church or Pastor RC Blakes or some other, other people from, , life, from the group I'm in right now, life Church. I would listen to that on the way in and listen to it on the way back to from, from work, and that's where I felt my core belief was.

I just wanted more, I needed to ingest, ingest this positivity, light life and different views and different views of the same. And why did I feel that this would be holding me back or pushing me forward? And I believed it pushed me forward. I believed it put me in a place where I could feel comfortable in my own spirituality.

Not necessarily announcing it to the world all the time, but feel comfortable with that so I could feel comfortable with everything around me. And so that's where this life book, that kind of evaluation as I gave an example of mine, but that kind of evaluation into what's important to you is in all of these other aspects, you know, delving down, like are, are your parent, is parenting important to you?

Do you believe in lots of face-to-face time, lots of conversation? Or are you like, yeah, what kind of relationships do you want? These are, you know, intimate relationships. These are friend. Social. I'm getting real deep into that. So number one was premise, identifying your core beliefs. And the second thing was your vision.

What would you like to achieve in every single one of these categories? And what were you doing on a consistent basis to actually get that? And so for example, that same one with my spiritual, I wanted to feel more connected while going to church once a week wasn't making me feel very connected. So I was not in alignment with my own premise, and my vision was like, yeah, it's not working.

My vision was to be deeper, so then my actions had to change. Number three was purpose. And I love this, you know, what is the reason for why you want what you want, why you desire, what you desire in every single one of these categories. Another another way of looking at it was I got to look at my career as a physical therapist.

Was I in line with what my purpose was? Was my career choice in line with really what I wanted to do in life? Was it something I really wanted to do when I was younger? You know, for, for a lot of us, we gotta make plans back in high school for what we want to do and invest a lot. And I made a decision,  when I was 16, I wanted to be a physical therapist and that was my guiding drive all through undergrad, five years, and then to get into PT school three more years and that all of that was my vision and my purpose.
And so now that I had been that for, you know, 14, 15 years and in the field for 20, is that still my purpose? I had never even thought about that. Never even thought about it. So number one was looking at the premise, your core beliefs. Number two was looking at your vision, what would you like to achieve?

Three was looking at your purpose. The reasons of why you wanted it. And then finally was strategy. What were the specific actions that were going to get you where you wanted to go? So if you weren't in alignment with your premise, with your core beliefs, and you went through all of this, what actions. Was I going to take in every single one of these categories?

And I'm gonna tell you that I thought I had evaluated my life until I evaluated them in these sort of sections. Now for some people there can be five sections. For other people there can be 20. For me, 12 was a lot of work. It's a lot of work because you have to stop and really think and  one of my favorite things to think about, Sounds kind of crazy, but I always think about if this was my last moment, did I live the life I really wanted to?

Because that is the number one regret of the dying, is that they did not live a life in alignment with who they really were. And that's kind of a lot of this purpose of this podcast. Well, you can't know if you're in alignment with who you really are until you get to evaluate it. And often when we get opportunities to make the most changes, Those are the times we're so busy in our roles and with things to do that we don't evaluate it to be in better alignment.

So that's where this whole idea of self-awareness comes in. And I pulled up this other article cuz I'm nerdy and it talked about, it's from positive psychology. And it talked about self-awareness and the importance of it, and it's basically to see yourself clearly and objectively. That's the key word, through reflection and introspection.
And there's apparently debate, um, Whether or not we can really be objective when, when looking at ourselves, and I don't feel we can be a hundred percent objective, but you know what? When you take a moment, it's a lot more objective than never facing it. So when we engage in this self evaluation, we kind of give some thought and feeling to what we should do.

Based on our values and our standards, and what I loved about this process of Lifebook is I had an opportunity now in middle-aged to evaluate my values and standards because we change, we, you know, what was so important to me at 21 is not quite as important to me at 40. And it will not be quite as important.

At 61, your, your standards and your values change, but a lot of times I believe we're still operating on these old mindsets. And according to some theories, that there are two outcomes of when we evaluate our life against the standards of what we want in our life. It's kind of like this pass fail system.

And when we pass, we're finding that we are in alignment with ourselves and our standards and our vision and our purpose. And when we fail it's cuz there's a discrepancy. And I feel that sometimes we fail. But we don't know we're failing. We're just like, I feel off. I'm unhappy. You're not making me happy.

I'm not happy. I don't care. I believe that sometimes not knowing that, you know, being conscious, I think our subconscious always knows, but being conscious of this disconnect can lead to anxiety and can lead to feelings of sadness.

What all of this can be summed up is that when we have better self-awareness, which is looking at ourselves in all aspects of our life. And we tend, we hear all the, the shows, and I've listened to many, I will say that all about relationships and what should I, how should my relationship look like and how are they supposed to act and how am I supposed to act?

And you know, something also about parenting. Kids supposed to listen. Why isn't he doing what I want him to do? Am I being the parent that I'm meant to be? Or am I just acting like the parent I had? But that worked on me and I'm not the same person as my child. What is it? You know, looking at kind of listening to everything but my soul.
But when we do listen to us, then we are able to be more proactive and encourage our development and boost our acceptance. It also, because of our self-acceptance, we are better to see things from the perspectives of other people. And it doesn't mean that we always like it, but it definitely means we're better able to step away because we realize we have no control over them.

We can work with someone and we can also walk away, be and without, without all the negativity.  Better decision making happens when you have that self-awareness. And then once we know what's important, we're better. We're better at communication. In our social life, in our relationships as parents, we're better at our jobs, which helps our job performance, which should make a difference in our pay, and we're better in our self-confidence and when we're better at all of those things and we are much better at living a life looking the same thing, the changing that perspective can make such a difference.

All of our time is valuable. I appreciate yours again today, and if you found this episode interesting, I have some more click on them. And if you want to, I would absolutely appreciate if you leave a review, subscribe or drop a line, email me or follow me on anything. Let's build one another up!