Swipe Left on Pink Tax: How Gender-Based Pricing is Impacting Our Dating Decisions

Swipe Left on Pink Tax: How Gender-Based Pricing is Impacting Our Dating Decisions

Hello, hello and welcome to In The Rising Podcast. I am really happy that you are here. My name is Bettina and I am the host of the show, and this is the platform I have chosen to talk about. Living a life that is in alignment with our hopes, our dreams, our goals, and just moving forward, stop staying in that rut and shame blame game that a lot of us tend to stay in over and over and over again.

Letting day after day, month after month, and sadly year after year, go on, dragging us down, basically eliminating us from our purpose. If that's not one of the most unhappy beginnings of a podcast show, I don't know what is, but sometimes we have to see where we maybe are on a pain island and see how we can get to a, a happier island, a happier place.

And in order to move on to that happier place, we kind of need to define what it isn't, right? And so today I wanted to talk about. Something I just heard about, and I have never heard of this phrase before, and sometimes I am wondering where I am, but I heard today of something called the pink tax and I had a friend just kind of go off on me about I.

How she just says, this is a real thing, you can Google it. And I was like, I have never even heard of this thing. So I looked it up, you know, and typically this is when women will end up spending much more money for kind of the same products that men do. Um, their example was, you know, a pair of razors, for example.

They pair. Or three or four, whatever, whatever they sell 'em in, but that women will pay more for them so that you know, because they look more feminine and men will pay less at the end of the day. One would hope that the razor itself is just as sharp in both cases, whether it has three blades or four blades, or five blades or movable blades or whatever it is nowadays, but that the products are basically comparable.

But why do they cost a different amount? And some called it a pink tax and others referred it more as a blue discount. I don't know, you know if that's true or not, but it really got me thinking a little bit deeper on what my friend had actually talked about. She was very upset and she goes, I am having someone come over to quote this and that at the house, and I'm having my boyfriend come over now.

This may not be a very common situation for a lot of people, but I tend to know very well of having made sure that there is somewhere a male present whenever something is happening within my home, within my car. And why is that? You know, I, I would like to think that many, many women are, Intellectually, they have their wherewithal together.

But what is it about still having some sort of male energy, male entity, male person nearby so that we feel someone can hear us? And I know that for some people, probably men, they can't really quite comprehend this because they've never been in that position. But sometimes when you have been, this makes clear sense.

So basically it, it, it involves whether it's an actual product or how we communicate. It means that women are just treated differently. They're not treated as as much with their respect, and they may not be treated, let's face it, on equal ground. But as a woman having this podcast, and perhaps as a woman listening to this show, What does that really mean and how can we relate that to self-worth and self-discovery and understanding and believing in your value as a human being, as a woman.

So I started thinking a little bit more about this, and I think that there's perhaps a pink tax in more ways than just with, you know, Uh, car issues or house issues or plumbing issues or anything of that nature? What about if there's a pink tax just generally in life and in order for there to be a tax.

There has to be some value in the beginning, right? But what about, so what is the real difference here? Is there a pink tax or is it a pink discount? Well, I think that pertains a lot more to how we may think of ourselves, like literally and figuratively. Are we emotionally, psychologically, cognitively paying more for certain situations, for certain items?

For certain experiences. Are we paying more for relationships as well as a car with, you know, six cup holders? What, what is it that we are paying more for? And I did, I did go right there. I did go into how are we paying more for our relationships? And one of those ways is kind of how can we devalue ourselves and we're paying a tax in, in.

In hurt. We're paying a tax emotionally and psychologically in that we have to believe, not that we should, but kind of think we're we're taught is that as women we should be really. Poofing ourselves up every single day. We have to make sure our mascara is the swing, is our foundation of this swing. And if you watch any of these makeup shows on Facebook or Instagram, which I sure do because I'm amazed at the transformations, but the bottom line, like how much work goes into that, and do you know that this is a primer and this is a mat and this is a foundation, but if you blend it here and then if you highlight your nose here, like you know, Not everyone is going to a photo shoot.

It's just, it's just going out for groceries. It's just going out to meet with your friends. You're just going to have some, some hangout dinner. You're just going to a bar and maybe you are going out, but are you really dressing up your body and your face to that extent? To impress who? And a lot of times we do this, you know, quite frankly to impress other women much more than we are trying to impress any mate.

But is it really worth all of that? And there's nothing wrong with getting really set up and really looking sharp where you feel comfortable and confident because you know what, you afford it and you, you, you enjoy it. But when it changes our values, when we believe this is a must. We must go out of our way to do all this.

We must go out and spend all this money on, you know, all this makeup. We must do this and we must do that. That's where the change is. Not because you enjoy it, but because you feel this is absolutely necessary to be deemed important, to be seen as important, and to be seen as worthy. You know, we should wake up and just know we're beautiful.

Yes, I understand. You know that every canvas may need a little work in the morning, a little bit of brushing up, but to to think that we have to do that when that is absolutely not necessary. If you have to go to that extent to attract anyone, the people you're attracting, they're not who you need.

They're really not who you need. What about if we're not able to really recognize. Our own boundaries and negotiate. What about if we're just in a relationship again, where we say, if you do A, I will do B. If you do this, I'm gonna leave. If you do this, I'm, I'm done. If you do this, it's a non-negotiable. And then they do a, they do this, but somehow you haven't stuck with b.

They do a again, and you get very upset and you get, you know, you're just upset. You're, you're, you're up, you're, you're hurt. And then you're like, okay, well I want to try this again. And then they go do a again. And then you're upset and then you're hurt and the cycle continues and continues. And so you're very upset that person A, is not recognizing your boundaries and what the consequences will be, but, When they do what you don't want them to do, there are no consequences.

You don't stick with B. They do A, you don't do B, they do A. You get upset about A, but you never do. B, you never, ever stand up for yourself. So is the problem the other person doing A, or is it really maybe you not listening to your boundary, that big letter B. You know, the more we stay in with our boundaries and what we really value as boundaries, the more self-fulfilled we are.

Because when we don't, we allow this other person to build in and, and be our object that fills us up. Now, cognitively and, and mentally, we know no one can do that. But that doesn't mean emotionally we don't try. There have been many a time that people, myself included, have tried to feel just happier about my own stance in life because so-and-so is in my life and a hundred percent of the time that has failed.

And I am not the only one with that story. So at the end of that day, we're devaluing ourselves. We're adding this pink tax to our own life, or pink discount basically. Because we want someone else to fill up our cup. So number three, how else are we devaluing ourselves with our relationships? Well, one is we're not letting ourselves shine.

You know, if you have some major accomplishment or some dream that you're really going after, yet we never talk about it. We don't show up to it. We hide it, we downplay it. We don't wanna hurt someone else's feelings because, well, they maybe didn't have those same opportunities, or their family was not motivating them to pursue higher things.

You know, this was their circumstance. That is true, and we can't take away from someone else's experience, but someone else's experience should not take away from ours either. That's a discount. You don't turn on the lamp, so you can hide it under a pillow. You turn on the lamp so it illuminates the room, and that illuminates everything.

Not just you, but someone else, other objects, other opportunities, other people can see clearly because of your light, not because you're stuffing it somewhere to be dark. Darkness stays with darkness, but you can't move forward. You don't know left or right, you become disoriented in the dark. It really is that light that helps clear that up.

And if that light is too bright for someone else, they can't tolerate it, then let them sit in the dark. Some people prefer that, and that is not our job to pull everyone out. Sometimes you gotta just let them be. But that has nothing to do with you. Don't discount your purpose in life because you are the rescuer for someone else.

Because there is a point in time when every single person, whether they know it cognitively or they just don't wanna believe it. We are not designed to rescue anybody but ourselves. And even that task alone requires the help of others. We're a lot of introspection and a lot of work. And if we take that much work for ourselves, imagine the work you're gonna put into somebody else.

So is this pink tax to be in a relationship, is that really worth it? Instead of taxing ourselves and taxing the person that we are around, if we're discounting ourselves well then are we really worth anything in the first place? And that's a very good question for anyone trying to figure out how to just get someone to have someone.

Because when you have that person and they're not living up to your expectation, they're not what you had hoped for, they're not what you need, that's not the other person's fault. You, you know, if you want anything to walk in the door, anything is going to walk in the door. We don't have to discount ourselves.

We certainly don't. Now, there may very well be a debate whether or not we, we use these experiences to grow. We use these experiences to really learn and, and what the value of our, our, our opinions are, the value of our life, the value of everything we have to offer. But it should not be discounted under any means, and the person that should least discount your, your contribution, your life is you.

You are the last person needing to put you down because you know what? Out there in that world, there's a whole bunch of people willing and wanting to do that job for you. Do not stand in that line, nor at the front of that line being ready to say discounted right here, you know, discounted. I am just, I'm just ready for anything.

You know what? We go on one date now, I can tell all my friends we're dating when you know for certain that that person, most likely that guy is not going to tell all his friends, he's dating anybody and he is certainly not gonna do it after the first date. And he certainly doesn't figure that this is a lifelong relationship because you all went out or moonlighted.

So why are you discounting yourself to that level for someone that cannot rise up to your level unnecessary, completely unnecessary. So I am, I am, you know. A hundred percent sure there is such a thing as a pink tax. I do know that I feel much more comfortable that whatever interaction I will have when I go buy a car will be better when I have someone male with me.

Preferably not my child, not my young son. He won't count. But I, I, I understand that. I don't like it, but I certainly know that. I also know that I am capable and have purchased my own vehicle without anyone. But that does not mean that I'm not willing to do the work and do it and go at it all by myself.

But not only in that circumstance, but just in life in general. There is no need to discount yourself ever. So don't let that pink tax get you down. Let that pink tax be something about razors and cars with lots of unnecessary cup holder. Who needs all those cup holders anyway? How many cup holders can you really have?

I guess you can use, I think I use all four in the front, but that's beside the point. I don't use them in the back. However, you guys, I appreciate your time today. Thank you for listening to my soliloquy and I am so grateful that you listened today. I would love to talk to you again next Tuesday. Every Tuesday I drop another episode, and until then, let's keep building one another up.