Unraveling the Enigma: A Guide to Understanding Your Assignment

Welcome to In The Rising Podcast. My name is Bettina, and this is the podcast and the platform I have chosen to talk to you about living a life that is really just more in alignment with your goals, your dreams. Making those goals and dreams a reality and walking away, turning our backs on the shame blame game that we are so familiar with and we see around us in television and on social media just to move into life.

What's it really meant to be? Sometimes you'll hear people say the simple life, but the simple life does not mean that you have to live on a farm and be completely off the grid. The simple life can really mean that you know who the hell you are and you're gonna stay true to that. So I have today's topic of our assignments.

Aren't assignments just for school? Like shouldn't we just do assignments in class? Is life really one big assignment? And sometimes I feel like it's one big quiz right after another, but I don't believe assignments are really just for class. According to a Course in Miracles, which is a really great book, I'm still in the middle of it.

No one is sent into your life by accident. I'm not sure I really like to believe this, or that it's really maybe this way. But what if it is? What if we ponder that really life is not an accident and that the people we meet and interact with are actually sent to us? What about situations? What about situations are sent to us and it's our assignment to move on through and learn from them?

What about our friendships, professional friendships, professional coworker relationships, even our romantic relationships? What if they indeed are assignments? What if just for a moment we can let go of our ego and really allow this kind of thought to play out? And so one thing we have to do is just look at what ego means in the first place, because when I first read this, I was like, listen, I don't think I have a big ego.

I think I have a little one, but I don't really think I have an ego at all. So I am a big fan of Google and I sure did look it up. And all in ego really means is having a sense of esteem or self importance. And so all of us should have an ego, and either it is fruitful and beneficial and warm, or it's cold and almost non-existence.

You don't have that feeling of having any self-worth at all. So yeah, we all have one and I decided to play along with this definition. Because I really thought an ego was having this, you know, big bravado out there in the world or being like one of those mean girls on tv, kind of pompous, narcissistic, and really only interested in themselves and really were superficial material things.

But I really do like that idea that, that the simple definition is really just having self-esteem and self importance. So what does that really have to do with today's podcast topic? Well, sometimes when we're experiencing an inappropriate ego, We see a problem as someone else's problem and not our own.

Our saying is that problem, you know, it, affects me, but it really doesn't have anything to do with me. But what about if we take a moment and stop and instead of turning away from that problem, that issue that we have with coworkers, friends, or even in our romantic relationships, what about if we just stop, turn around and actually look at it?

Look at it. Look at it up and down, walk along the backside, investigate it. Don't shrink away from it because let's face it, some of the problems that we have, I dare say that we may have created them. And I love Gabrielle Bernstein's book, the Spirit Junking, and there is a sentence that she quotes. She goes, you know what?

Sometimes we have to realize that we put a problem there, we chose it in our mind, whether it was real or whether it was not. So what does that really have to do with our assignment? What about our assignment is really to figure out what is beneficial and what is not. What about if that assignment is every single day, putting small steps into place that will really help you achieve your goals?

I heard a wonderful saying. It said, you know, Rome is not built in a day that's very familiar. Rome was not built in a day, and the answer to that is, no, it was not. But every day a stone was placed down. In fact, many stones were placed down every single minute. There was a stone being placed down that ended up being Rome.

And so we could look at it from, you know, an outside standpoint, just e evaluating a city, for example, as this example. Or we can look at, people such as Steve Jobs or we can look at people we, idolize in the sports world or professionally or even in the financial sector, medical area. We can pick whatever area we look at and see the end product.

But have we taken the time to look at every single stone that had to be put down in order to lead the path to that end product? And what about ourselves? Are we looking at every single stone that was laid down by other people? Or are we also taking a chance to stop and look what stones we put down to end us up here on the road where we are today?

Where is our personal responsibility? What is our assignment in learning that? To take that pause and really look at it. So I recognize often. How I'm happy and how I'm not right. And a lot of that comes to, well, you make me happy and you make me sad. My job makes me happy. My job makes me mad. My coworker is irritating, my coworkers funny and I can't wait to, show up again tomorrow.

I'll be at early, but to just laugh and have a good time while we get this job done. We work well together. We're both on the same page. All of those relationships really an accident. And I'm gonna go out, in all honesty here. I've evaluated some, situations where I had to mingle with people and sometimes the, some of those coworkers I really enjoyed and some of them.

Let's say I did not, let's just put it very kindly. I was not happy that I didn't even see what anyone could see in them or their resume or the interview to have them be my coworker. I wanna be honest, but I'm sure the same is likewise for other people. But what is it exactly about certain people that you are to learn from?

And I will also have to admit, there have been times when I really did not like someone, but ended up becoming really good friends with them and learning something. Learning something about myself, not only a little bit deeper into them. So what is an assignment really? Well, I think an assignment. There's three main things.

One is to wake you up. And I love to talk about waking up, kind of getting out of, this habit cuz a lot of our actions are really habit. Most of our life is habit cuz our brain cannot function and try to think that deeply. But a lot of our habits are not getting us one step closer to what our goals are Now.

First of all, you gotta figure out what your goals are and if that's really in alignment with your virtues, your values. But that's another story. But are you really awake enough to deal with it or are you just sitting on the sidelines, you know, stomping your feet on the bleachers there upset that no one's giving you what you're not doing anything about besides stomping your feet and having a little temper tantrum.

What is it about you that you can learn from certain situations that you can change Now? I believe we all have a certain temperance. I believe some of us are, , a lot more, a lot more friendly, a lot more open. You know, some people love to just go and talk and be with a lot of people, and some of us are a little bit more, interested in being alone, a little more introverted, like to read more books.

I'm not talking about that per se, but in each of these scenarios, each person. Can learn a little bit more of what is going to help them get to their own goals. You know, we can sit in a place and go, well that's just the way I am. And that's true. But what is it about the way you are that is also holding you back?

What is it about the way you are that is keeping you stuck in this place? What about that you love about yourself that is also keeping you on the same cycle? You're on the merry ground. You're very upset about the merry ground, but you're not willing to get off the merry-go-round. So I feel that life will give us assignments in the form of encounters and in, you know, in the form of people.

And until you decide that this is the merry ground you choose to get off of. You're going to be dizzy and you're gonna feel like you're going in circles. It's not someone else to take you off. It's someone, it's your own responsibility. So if you're upset with a situation and it seems like it's the same situation over and over again, yes, it's okay to have our feelings acknowledged.

Acknowledge it yourself, but look at what, what role did you play in that? And you don't even have to look at yourself with some judgment, but do. Assess what role you play because none of us are just sitting here completely innocent. And to say, well, it was always someone else makes us a victim. It does not make us a survivor, and it certainly does not make us thrive in our world, and we don't wanna be a victim to someone else's whims, Wes, whatever.

You want to be an active participant in your life. So what role did you play? What role did you play in having a successful, marketing event at work? What role did you play in having a positive outcome for someone you, gave advice to? What role did you play in the breakdown of a friendship? What role did you play?

Look into that and wake up a little bit and evaluate that yourself. You know, and I love reading about. Improving our life and getting bigger and getting better and motivation. But you know what, we can all have motivation talks all day, all night. We can have a Tony Robbins session all day, all night. He has 10 day sessions, you know?

And they're motivated. They're motivated. But then a lot of them, well, do they stay that way? You know, that has to come from within. I can spend a lot of money and have you motivate me, but what about my own role? Like, do I have one? And the answer is yes. You have to wake up. If you're going through life asleep, you're going to get what a sleepy person does.

You're going to, you're not going to, observe the wonderful things really set out for you. There are wonderful events and people that can be in your life. But you're not awake to see them. What role have you played in the past and how can you change that role or learn from that role for your present?

And with that, you're gonna carry that into the future. So the other, thing I think that every assignment is, is, is learning about compromise. Put part A in part B on this one. You know, a are you compromising with another person to get where you feel like you're a winner also, you know, are you compromising with this per, okay, well I don't want them to get hurt feelings.

Well, I'm gonna do this cuz I, you know, I really like it when they feel happy. Well, I'm gonna compromise and, you know, we're gonna do what you wanna do. Are you compromising so that someone else is happy? Are you compromising to the point that someone else is happy, but to the detriment of their own ability to interact and be responsible?

Are you compromising because you want everyone to like you? You wanna be the cool kid? I mean, I like to be the cool kid. I've never been the cool kid, but I would imagine that it must be nice, but do you want that more or do you want to recognize that compromise takes two parties? One is giving, one is taking.

It's not an assignment. You are a giver and they are a taker, and that leads to B. Are you compromising your own values? So if you have a very strong work ethic and you're with someone that doesn't, and you continuously make excuses, continuously make excuses for this person, you know, what about if you're in a relationship with someone and you work and they don't cook dinner for you and you come home and there's nothing done?

Are you compromising your own values? You know, what about if you value, uh, waking up and exercising, but now you're not going to do that because, well, you don't wanna hurt someone's feelings. Do you value a clean home? But now you don't wanna do that too much because, well, you don't want someone else to feel put out.

You really value going after, you know, dreams and excitement and, and you love taking your courses. I'm one of those, I'm a big nerd. What about if I didn't do that because I felt someone would. Be irritated. Tell me, oh, well you think you're better than me. Well, that's compromising my values. Not only are we both not winners, but I'm compromising myself and my ego is then in the toilet.

What about if an interaction with someone, and this can be on any level. It doesn't matter if it's, it's if it's a platonic or a relationship. What about if you interact with someone and you start to see something about that person you really like? There's a lot of evidence that shows the things that we really like about someone is something that we really like about ourselves.

What if you really like that they're on time? What if you value time because it shows they value your time and you value your own time? What about as time goes on, you start to notice things that really irritate you? Not taking action procrastination. Could it be that those are things that you know are problems for yourself and you recognize it and you wanna walk away from that?

Doesn't mean you have to walk away from that friendship or, or relationship, but you, it, it's irritating to you and it's irritating to you because you recognize it as familiar. What about if that entire situation is an assignment for you to recognize and open up and be honest, not only with someone else, but really it's all about yourself.

Be honest with where you are and what about being alone? Are you okay with being alone? Are you okay with watching television on a Tuesday night by yourself? Are you okay with having the week alone? Or do you always have to have someone with you? Are you someone that cannot even go to lunch at work without having, you know, a, a group or at least one person to go with you to walk to the soda machine?

Are, are you always needing someone there? And why is that? What is the assignment that you may be learning from evaluating that standing on your own two feet, that you really don't need someone there all the time? That you really are the cool kid because you decided to be the cool kid. What is the assignment out of that?

You know, I feel I've had a lot of assignments. I am now in my forties and I've had plenty of assignments and I'm learning all the time, and I've also taken this assignment, you know, seriously, I've actually journaled about it. What about. Being a mom has been an assignment for me, and there have been a lot in that.

What about working, what about working two jobs? What about getting a master's degree? What about, being a therapist, a physical therapist, and actually, you know, wanting to work with people? What is the assignment that I've decided to learn from and continue to grow in? And I will tell you, I have a lot of assignments I still need to evaluate.

But what I love about life is that it is not an assignment that you really pass or fail in a big way, but it is about passing or failing according to your own measuring tool, not somebody else's according to yours. You know, at the end of our day, did you meet a hundred percent of what your goals were?

What made you grow? What made you excited? What made you wanna sit down and say, you know what, this is on the path to my Rome, or Where are you on that, that path, in that road, and you were there digging up the rocks and throwing them out of the way because that was more convenient for someone else. You know, we all have our own road to Rome, and we are all responsible for our own path.

If you're not on yours, If you're not moving forward or if you're tearing up the bricks, that is your assignment to sit down. And a person that really has a good ego, full of self-esteem understands their self-worth, that their self-worth is not related to their partnership, not their bank account, not any relationship, and not even the relationship we we have with our family, not our parents, not our siblings, not our children, ourselves.

Because when that relationship is in order, everything else will flourish. Kind of goes like mission impossible. This is your assignment if you choose to accept it, and only if you are awake and willing to look at something. Willing to look at something in the mirror doesn't mean you have to put a judgment on it, but really look at it.

Are you going to move forward and are you going to head home? And are you going to end up at your room? So thank you again for listening today. That's all I wanted to chat about. I appreciate your time because you know what? That's the resource. We don't wish you all a blessed day and let's build one another up!