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Hello and welcome to the In The Rising Podcast. This is the platform from which I talk to you about living a life without the captivity of guilt and regret, so that you can use your self-worth to live an empowered, independent, and free fulfilling. My name is Bettina Brown and I am your host. And let me start off by saying that I am not a licensed counselor, psychiatrist, psychologist, but I am a student of life and a healthcare professional who loves to research and have conversation about what makes us tick and what makes us live the life that we know we want to.

If this sounds like, a group of topics that you are interested in, go ahead and subscribe and leave a review. I'd really appreciate it, and I also enjoy receiving feedback from you via email at Bettina@intherising.com and this is also in the description below. So today is episode seven, and this is the third one in the mini-series of what does self-love look like?

Like what does that entail? And so in the show notes, all seven of them are written out and you can see where we are today. You can go ahead and scroll around, look at which one really applies to you. Or listen to all of them. I'd appreciate that too. And take what you like, what you want. Leave behind the rest.

I say that every day, you know, take it and make it meaningful for you. Today's episode we're talking about number three. So being sure to take care of what is considered a basic need, and this includes, Interactions with other people or relationships, exercising and eating properly. And so the question starts off with this, like, what is considered a basic need?

And a lot of us remember this, you know, you need food, water, and shelter. And that's just a, an old saying, these are the basic things that you need. And, and to some extent it's absolutely right. You know, you need food. You need water. You can only go so long without water. And, shelter is for protection.

And yes, they are important, but we have other needs once those are taken care of, you know, those are survival needs, but surviving and thriving are not equal. They are different, although survival is the beginning, but what makes you thrive while your life here on Earth is, is up and going. You know, what makes you thrive and what makes you really move to the best person that you can be.

And it's not just food, water, and shelter. That's why we're going in the mini-series. But today we're just talking about some of these basic needs and as we work on ourselves and invest in ourselves, we want to have some ideas of what we can do. What else is it? Is it just a mindset I need to do? Is it just journaling is just being in gratitude, but there are so many things that we can start to employ into our life that that helps us out.

So today I'm gonna talk about those basic needs, and the first one I'm gonna talk about is this interaction with other people, aka relationships. And some authors have described that we as mammals are kind of built for relationships. There are spiritual pastors and, and, spiritual gurus that believe we are just so interconnected that relationships are just as important to us.

As food, water, and shelter. Unfortunately there have been some times in life that. Some examples of the lack of relationship has been very evident, such as sometimes where children have been, , hidden away from communities. This can be in the recent past, and then also so far back as, , the 18 hundreds where they have found children.

There's one girl in particular, and I don't remember her name, but she was locked away in a dark room for about 20, 25 years and. Kind of lost her humaneness, like she's just, almost like an animal and people really struggle to connect with her. And unfortunately, we learned a lot about our need for relationship, and that's what makes us the kind of people we are and separates us from other mammals.

And with this relationship, we build families and communities and cities and states and nations in this world, and it's all based off this interpersonal relationship. Yes, our most important one is the one with ourself. But that's a self-dependent one. Um, we have control over that, but when we start adding relationships with others, well then it gets more complicated, doesn't it?

It's, , there's so many aspects of it that are dependent on interactions. Will Meek, who has a PhD, wrote an article for Psychology Today. Regarding universal relationship needs, and he divvied it up into three different categories, and that first one is companionship or belonging. How often do we just wanna feel like we belong?

Right. That's why we wear some of the same outfits. That's why we go to a certain gym. That's why we wear a certain car. That's why we have festivals that, , we really enjoy all the type of music. There are other conventions where we love this type of comic or we are definite, diehard Star Wars fans. We like to belong and we like to belong on different levels.

It's, it's a nice feeling to. For most of us, a feeling with our families, our, our direct kin. Whether that's a direct relationship, mother, father, child, siblings, but also a little bit more distant as in some of our good, good friends who are basically like another sibling and then additional cousins, and we have this connection and so we belong to something bigger than ourselves.

It, it gives us a little bit more of, of a strength, kind of strength in numbers. He goes into number two of this Interac. With other people as affection and that this is verbal and physical, and this is often that one that can be misused, um, where people can put you down that their view of love has gotten to a point where it's always criticism and it's not.

It's told it's constructive, but it's not. It's just all demeaning. But we want affection, and it does not mean that all of us want affection on the same level, right? Some of us want to hold hands all the time, and others are like, you know what? I know how to cross the street by myself. I don't need you to hold my hand.

But having affectionate words, affectionate looks, , just feeling that someone cares for you and loves. Likes you a lot, anything but really just cares about your overall wellbeing and that is something that can really boost our own self-esteem and what Dr. Meek talks about. Lastly is emotional support and validation.

How often do we just wanna feel validated? You know, like what I did was a great job, or, you know, what I did wasn't so great, but I still have the emotional support. I'll always back you. I hear that often. At least I was raised that way for sure. It doesn't matter what happens. I love you. And if you ever do something, I'll pick you up or bail you out, but I may not be very happy, but I will be there.

It gave that sense of belonging that that belonging will not be broken up by an action. It gave an affection, verbally told me that I will be taken care of. It gave me emotional support to know that I can quote, unquote, fail and still not lose these other things. And it validated me as a human being and as a daughter that I had that worth as well.

And these are things I just described as in a, as a family , hierarchy. But this is also with regards to our friends and, and in relationships between one another that are, are more. So if any of our relationships pull away from those three, which is companionship slash belonging, affection, both physical and verbal and emotional.

Support and validation. If they're not going in that direction, sometimes that's a really good clue that things are not the way they should be. And perhaps we need to back up a little bit from some of those relationships. And that's not for me to say cut off the relationship. That's for everyone to make an individual choice at the extreme levels, of course, but that's not feeding your basic need.

So when you. Best friends with someone and it is constantly, you're giving, they're taking and scenario after scenarios where there's a distinction that you're not supported, that you are physically, pushed away that verbally you're never helped out. You have no emotional support. Maybe that isn't exactly what you were looking for.

 Number two, after our interpersonal relat. Is that good food and adequate sleep cannot be underestimated. So Dr. Josh Ax has been quoted as health is not about the weight you lose, but about the life you gain. I'm gonna repeat that one. That was good. Health is not about the weight you lose, but about the life you gain.

So there is just so much information out there right now about. We're connected, we're connected to one another, but how really integrated and connected we are just to ourselves and how the brain and the gut are, are basically best friends, that can shake hands all the time. And we hear leaky gut, how you can affect your, your mental health.

You can hear how you need to eat this, you don't need to eat that. And there's a lot of information and it can be very overwhelming. But for the purpose of. We do know that the link between a healthy diet and a healthy brain is there. And so when you are eating more in a healthy manner, you are better able to remain positive and make influential decisions that are beneficial to your, your life and that of people around.

This is such a big deal about investment and importance that Noma Nazi, and I hope I pronounce that correctly, actually wrote an article, the 10 Smart Ways to Make Self-Care a part of Every Meal. Now, you would think this is in a self-help magazine or a nutrition magazine. No, this is in Forbes. This is about business.

Finally, the bigger picture is it's not just about dollars and cents that we have to take care of ourselves and we have to take care of our gut. And one of the main reasons nutrition is so important is for one wound healing. That's my thing., I'm a wound care specialist. If you cannot feed someone through the gut, they usually don't heal as well.

It's so critical. But another thing is that the gut produces 90% of our sero. So serotonin is also known as our happy chemical and very much linked to depression. Though the entire spectrum and cascade and biochemistry of that is not completely killer, we do know that it is low in everyone with depression.

Serotonin is also the precursor or the one before melatonin, and so therefore, it's very much related to our awake cycle, our sleep cycle melatonin, if that sounds familiar to you, that's what a lot of people will take when, when they're just not able to sleep because it helps put you to sleep. It helps you relax.

Serono serotonin is also known to play a role in your appetite, your emotion. Your automatic reflexes, your motor coordination, and your ability to remember. So how it all affects, not fully clear, but we do know that that's it. And that's just serotonin itself. We haven't even talked about. Basic vitamins and minerals and all of that.

So what we do know is that we need to eat well. It affects our sleep. And if we are eating and enjoying that, we, there is a lot of research out there that says if we multitask while we're eating, Your brain and your gut are starting to get disconnected. Yes, you are feeding that into your body, but you're not even able to listen and communicate with yourself.

You're not able to pick up on your hunger symbols as quickly, and a lot of times we don't enjoy that. Right? It's always nice to have a good meal and laugh and talk. I always think about Italy where they, they focus on eating and enjoying that time instead. Work with one hand and type and, and, and try to eat with the other, you know?

So number three is about exercise, and I like exercise slash movement. Not everyone, not everyone loves exercise and I'm okay with that. You know, I, I am a physical therapist, but I can get that and I understand it and I see it often. But the one thing that I do, Is that even though exercise may not be something you love, movement is something your body needs.

And I know all of us have different levels. We all have different physical capabilities that we were either born with or have remained with us after, traumas or surgeries or events in life. But the body is designed to. Too many of our body functions and organ functions begin to decrease when we don't move.

And part of why we, what we've learned from this is that movement or exercise actually increases more hormones, more activities, more biochemistry in our body. It stimulates brain chemicals that help you feel happier and more relaxed and reduces. So that's where that little boost can come in. You'll have boosts of energy and it helps your heart and your lungs work more efficiently and when they're efficient, your day is efficient.

Movement helps promote better sleep. So here we have eating, helping you sleep and movement, helping you sleep clearly. Sleep is important. You need that time. Everyone can argue, well, is it six hours or is it seven? Everyone's a little bit different. So the need for sleep applies to everyone. But how that need for sleep applies to everyone is different, but we all need adequate sleep.

And there are times in your life you may need a little bit more exercise, helps you maintain a healthy body weight. I understand we are all different shapes and sizes, and some of us have the pear. Some of us have the apple, but our body is still designed to hold a certain amount of. And there is a lot of research that shows a lot of our chronic illnesses is related to being heavily obese.

There's one thing to have a few pounds, it's another to have a hundred, it's another to have 200, it's another to have 300. And our ability to handle those extra pounds makes it a little bit difficult to. Which means we don't get this so much serotonin. It means we don't have other brain chemicals. In that same token, no one should feel that their worth is dependent on their weight, but understanding that your weight has a reflection on your health is nonetheless important.

That's my 2 cents. That's my opinion. Take it or leave it. And exercise also prevents and, and combats a lot of disease. When you are able to move better, you have better blood pressure, you have a better health, and you can maintain better health through illness. You know, you can get the flu whether you are healthy and or, or you're, you're not.

But your ability to bounce back from surgery and from. Trauma or, or an illness is just so much more improved and your ability to bounce back and increase your quality of life, increase your psychological stance. And so that is important. So in review, some basic needs are of course, food, water, and shelter.

But we are also designed number one for relat. They are crucial to us. It's okay to understand that we may or may not wanna participate in a lot of relationships. Some of us are more solitary than others, but just recognizing where you are on that spectrum and what you still need for you is important.

Number two is knowing that good food leads to adequate sleep and good food actually helps you maintain a more positive, optimistic. Perception on life. And lastly, number three is exercise and motion. Movement is critical for the human body. Always has been. And likely always will be. So I know all of our time is valuable.

I appreciate yours today and I hope you found this episode of of Some Worth to You. If you did, please leave a review from Stars Below and subscribe on this platform. Drop a line by emailing me at Tina in the Rising. I will see you next Tuesday. Let's keep building one another up.