Embracing the Art of Waiting: Mindfulness, Self-Compassion, and Growth in Uncertain Times

Hello and welcome to In The Rising: a Health and Wellness podcast for those going through and those supporting those going through cancer. My name is Bettina Brown and I'm board certified in physical therapy, wound care and lymphedema. And you know, for me cancer is very personal. It's affected my friends, my immediate and my not so immediate family, and therefore I this podcast and FitAfterBreastCancer. com to address the multiple dimensions of our lives during and after recovery. Hello, greetings, and I'm so grateful for your time today. I am really excited to talk about this topic. You know, sometimes I create podcasts because something comes to mind or I hear a certain phrase, and sometimes I pull from my life. right, you hear a lot of artists talk about what their day to day life is like, and I'm in a phase of waiting. What I realized with some of the conversations that I had with some of my patients, some friends, some family, is a lot of us are in a place of waiting And what we call the art of waiting and what that feels like. We're waiting for so many things And sometimes it feels like we wait for a lot. right, we wait for that job and then we wait for the perfect job, then we wait for interest rates to go up or interest rates to go down. We wait for college, we wait for the right partner to come into our life, and then we wait for the right partner to want to commit. We want to start our healthcare and physical fitness journey and then we want to wait to see the results. Actually, we don't want to wait too long. We want the results to happen right away. But sometimes our waiting is a little bit different. Sometimes our waiting is that initial diagnosis after surgery, the waiting for a biopsy, an aspiration to get the results of the treatment, if there's remission, and waiting to find out when your next checkup is. Is it in three months? Is it six months? Do you get to wait for a year? Do you get to wait for three years? So there's so much waiting And this is very frustrating. And what's very frustrating is that it's very much a part of our lives. I thought about why, why is waiting so hard for so many of us And I have both hands up right now. Well, waiting reveals something about our perception of our certainty and our control that we feel we have over our lives, and it reveals to us what is very scary and that we do not have a lot of control over our lives and that we take things for granted that are actually not for granted. They're not set in reality and they're not set in truth, but we have to have some sort of truth to do our day-to-day life. We have to feel comfortable about our current state and our future state, and that's a natural way for us to live. And this sense of security that is not real but we pretend it's real. well, that's really a form of protection that has come across from our evolution. But also feeling out of control is another way of feeling protection. but it's a process that can become dangerous as well, and we have this thing called anticipation anxiety, and our body is mentally and physically preparing for some uncertain event. It's preparing for results, it's preparing for the next sentence that comes from our doctor, it's preparing for that next phrase that comes from our family, where we don't know what's happening next. And sometimes what we get to do in a series of moments, over a series of days and weeks and months, is we turn that into some sort of scenario. We create something because we need to have some sort of control, and what we often do is create the worst case scenario. I don't know why. Outside of that is just how we are wired, but we tend to go to the very worst. And the very thinking releases stress hormones and keeps our adrenaline up, and also cortisol, both of which can be stress hormones And so adrenaline. it keeps you in that tired but wired phase where it's you're feeling so very tired And you just can't get enough sleep. where you're feeling so very tired, you get some sleep and you wake up so very tired. Cortisol is its own animal and it's really that thing that helps you build some extra weight around your midsection And it is just as dangerous to you as the actual worst case scenario that can happen. And when we're feeling the stress in our lives, these hormones interact in a way that don't allow us to release any serotonin that we may have And that makes us feel more down and more blue and really catastrophizes our own perception. We're already on that worst case scenario Now. we're pretty sure that's what's going to happen. But how are we? waiting is just as important as that waiting process. Have you ever heard that waiting is actually a sensory process, that it's a sensory activity? And I always thought when I heard that that waiting was really just a state of nothing, a state of being, which is a nice thing versus always doing doing, but the state of not being sure where you are. But actually knowing that waiting can be very sensory is helpful And it's why some of us really have this urge to move our bodies and to create something or clean the house where we're feeling stressed out and anxiety. And that's why some people will really delve into their music, others will meditate or others will just sit still in the sun or sit outside or just have no movement whatsoever. no-transcript. Some people really need to just have a little bit of a fidget where that knee is moving up and down and fidget spinners have had their their heyday because it helps release something. then you cannot get up and actually Feel like a fidget spinner yourself. I heard a dear friend of mine. She said you know you have to breathe anyway, so why not breathe deeply and breathe in a state of meditation? Meditation, since we know that it's been looked at so many times that deep breathing helps reduce a lot of stress in the body And it allows your mind and your body to relax, which is a win-win situation, and since when you focus on your breathing, you don't get to focus on your worst-case scenario. Why not Right? What I learned about is that this waiting game is very common, and I think one of the first things that we can do is offer ourselves a little bit of self-compassion, that it is okay to feel frustrated frustrated with waiting, because we can be waiting for so many things and when we're doing our wellness journey and we're waiting on an appointment and then we're waiting at the appointment and then we're waiting to See someone in the room, in the waiting room, so it can be very frustrating and giving yourself that compassion and allowance to just feel that way, and also understanding that the person who's interacting with us May also be waiting for the next person and waiting to get to the end of their day, because they might be waiting for the very thing that we're waiting for. But why is waiting so hard and why is waiting in some way a beneficial thing New artists coming out, where one literally locked himself. He built a wooden cage and he kept himself in this cage in his apartment for an entire year no TV, no, nothing and He really wanted to focus on The act of waiting. What are you doing? That's a little extreme for me, but I was very happy for him. and another artist decided to sit and is actually part of the art, and she sits in The museum for eight to ten hours a day and did that for three months. Just waiting, just being and I think that might be a little more in tune with what I could possibly do, but what I, what I realized in that moment you are taking that power back of what you're doing and In that moment, the only thing you get to think about is that moment. That's where mindfulness comes in and that sounds like another woo-woo term, but in this time of continuously waiting, where our mind is always in the future, we're honestly, that is not where our strength is, that's not where our power is, even when we talk about, well, if you do You schooling, if you go to this class and you get this degree in the future will. yes, that's the future. But you have to do something right now. And right now can take a couple years, right, if you want to start something, an apprenticeship, if you want to learn how to be an awesome baker and Create those wonderful things, that might be the future where you have your own shop. But right now is when you actually get to focus on what you need to do to get to that future. So the same goes with whatever we're waiting for, especially if it's health related. What I can do right now is focus on eating my rainbow. What I can do right now is journal for five minutes. what I can do right now, for the next ten seconds, is Name off ten things that I'm grateful for. what I can do right now is show up for my family. What I can do right now is show up for myself And when you're busy with your present, that future comes a lot faster than you think and that future may not have that worst-case scenario And you will be in a better, healthier position. If indeed the worst-case scenario is what comes up, you will already have developed how to handle that better and you will appreciate every single present moment instead of having possible or potential additional regrets in the time that you're waiting. And my quote today is by Charles Stanley and it just stuck with me because I think it's so true Our willingness to wait reveals the value we place on the object we're waiting for. And if we are waiting for our health, if we're waiting for the clear sign and check everything is perfect, you're in good condition, come back in a year, come back in three years or five years, then we know we value our health, we know we should appreciate what we have at this moment, we know we value our experience and so we don't need to wait one year or three years or five years to really express that joy and that love and that value of our life. We don't have to wait anymore. We can enjoy everything today. So thank you so much for your time, because you know what. That's that one resource we don't get to wait around for and get anymore. There's contact information down below, there's show notes down below for any additional details that you have, and I really would feel fortunate if you would leave a five-star review. on whatever platform you're listening to this podcast. It helps push the word out. It helps push the word out and puts it in the hands and ears of those that need it most, and you never know, today that might be you, or today that might be someone else. that is really grateful that you did. Thanks again, until next time, let's keep building one another up!