This is How Your Marriage Ends- Matthew Fray Shares Habits that Erode Marriages
Leaving the dishes on the sink in real life doesn’t matter, but understanding what they represent to our partner and distinguishing the difference is very important. When we put ourselves in our partner's shoes and see the one thing that triggers them, it’s okay to behave in a way that doesn’t become a trigger for them. This shows kindness and caring, not just in words but also in action. Protecting the people you love and respect and with whom you crave a relationship from feeling bad because of what you do or don’t do will help you build a healthy relationship. Taking responsibility for things within our sphere of influence and mitigating the bad experience on their behalf blooms trust and safety.
Join the conversation with Matthew Fray as he shares about habits that are eroding our marriages and how to cultivate trust and safety to build relationships that stick. Learn how to be mindful of the person you care about and vigilantly include them in your decision-making process to build a healthy relationship.
During this episode, you will learn about;
[00:01] Intro and bit about our guest today, Matthew Fray
[01:18] How Matthew went from Journaling to putting things in the public
[04:32] How security and trust felt apart in Matthews's marriage
[08:24] Protect the person you love and respect to build a healthy relationship
[11:15] How Matthew approaches the subject of relationship with his son now
[14:25] Post-divorce co-parenting and Matthews's core habits that he focuses on
[17:12] One habit we’re doing incorrectly and what we need to be mindful about
[20:20] Why a great relationship means putting in the work
[21:02] How to connect with Matthew or get his book
Notable Quotes
• Security and trust are what makes relationship stick.
• Validate habitually, don’t accidentally invalidate someone's experience.
• Communicating that everything we think and feel matters more than what the other person thinks and feel ends our relationship over time.
• When we invalidate the other person's lived experience, we erode their trust because we choose our beliefs and feelings over theirs.
Resources Mentioned
Matthew’s book, How Your Marriage Ends (https://www.amazon.com/This-Your-Marriage-Ends-Relationships/dp/0063072254)
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